Elul day 4--Can I be joyful today?

Today is the 4th day of Elul.  In less than a month it will be Rosh Hashnah.  We blow shofar now to wake us up and remind us of the imminence of the Holy Day, but what about the most holy of days--the one that is NOW?

What if we recognized the holiness of TODAY?

 

What is special about today in your life?  

What are you thankful for?  

Who have you helped today?  

Who have you asked forgiveness from today?  

For whom have you prayed for healing today?  

With whom have you given or received a hug?

THIS is the day that God has made, let us celebrate and rejoice in it - “Zeh hayom asah Adonai, nagilah v'nismecha vo”

Right now I stand on the precipice with a loved one in surgery.  As I pray for healing, I look forward to hearing good news this evening, but where can I find joy RIGHT NOW?  

It’s time to relieve the babysitter and spend the afternoon with my almost four year old daughter after her first day back at school.  Today and everyday, I hope I am as grateful for the time to share with her!  Love to all.

September 11 & bring non-perishable food to Rosh Hashanah Evening Services and Kol Nidre

Fourteen years.

Every child that celebrates becoming a bar or bat mitzvah today was not born yet on 9/11/01.  How do we share with them the chaos of that world, how illusions were shattered?

One answer is here:
http://www.kveller.com/heres-what-i-said-and-didnt-say-when-talking-to-my-son-about-911/

As I sit today, trying to prepare for Shabbat, trying to ensure that the Torahs are rolled for tomorrow, and Rosh Hashanah, I think of those who were murdered on this date.

My career, my job, my life is about hope.  It is about kindling the spark of the Divine within us all, so that it burns brighter, inspiring us to lives of greater action, greater meaning, deeper prayer, kedushah, holiness.   Yet some days, we feel the darkness of the world.  Today is one of those days.

A google search tells me this is a Chinese proverb "Don't curse the darkness, light a candle." As Jews, bringing light to the world is a part of everything we do.  Every holiday, every festival includes kindling light.  We are commanded to do so.

September 11 put out the lights of so many, and yet the Red Cross couldn't keep up in accepting blood donations.  People devoted their lives for days and months and years helping to clear the pile, to find every person that could be found.

May this day remind us that evil exists

And that it is not wrong to fight it.

Yet each day we pray for peace 

And work towards it.

Let us see the humanity in every child

No matter what their parents have done.

Let us build a world of loved

Where no child is left behind.

Ashrei teaches

פּוֹתֵחַ אֶת יָדֶךָ וּמַשְׂבִּיעַ לְכָל חַי רָצוֹן

"You (God) open your hand and provide for all our needs."

You have provided, now we must distribute. 

If we have enough to eat, we MUST share with those who do not.

In this way we can inspire hope, love, Godliness to the entire world.

Tonight we light (at least) two candles to celebrate Shabbat.  Rabbi Zoe Klein reminds us of how else we might think of them today, on this anniversary.

Before Kaddish http://urj.org/worship/prayers/sept11/?syspage=article&item_id=4111&printable=1

On Shabbat we would light two candles,

One for remembering Shabbat

And one for observing Shabbat.

Tonight we light these two candles.

This one is for Building One,

And this one for Building Two.

This one is for the Pentagon,

And this one is for Pittsburgh

This one is for those on the American Airline Flights,

And this one for those on the United Airline Flights.

This one for the hundreds of firefighters,

And this one for the hundreds of police.

This one for all the men,

And this one for all the women.

This one for all the girls,

And this one for all the boys.

This one for our luck running out,

This one for the New York skyline,

This one for the walking wounded,

This one for the critically wounded.

This one for the survivors,

This one for the dead.

This candle for Building One,

This candle for Building Two.

(Adapted from Rabbi Zoe Klein)

Wake up, it's Elul!

Every morning during the month of Elul, we blow the shofar, waking us up to the spiritual possibilities of the month.  Reminding ourselves that Rosh Hashanah is coming, we are committing ourselves to heshbon hanefesh, an accounting of our deeds.  We reflect on what has been and imagine what life could be.

For some, coffee, has the same awakening effect!  In Israel, there is an advertising campaign capitalizing on the time of year, the month of Elul, and arguing that their coffee provides the same oomph!

Whether it is from coffee or the shofar, let us spend the next month in contemplation that leads to action. Let our studies inspire us to improve our surroundings.  May we not be discouraged by what has been, but be hopeful for what can be!  It's Elul, WAKE UP!

So much going on, yet there is still so much hope!

In the last few weeks we have seen tremendous upheaval in so many aspects of our lives, yet it is the loss of Robin Williams that prompts me to write this post.

• Anti-semitic outbreaks world wide have threatened our sense of security as Jews.
• Blood libels have been repeated by leaders of Hamas.
• Hamas has sent rockets into Israel, starting a war that took many lives and is still unresolved.
• Within our own community there have been several deaths, losses, shivas in close proximity.
• Student loans and job security are a questions for many.
• Mental Health concerns are not dealt with well in this country and remain stigmatized.

Depression and other forms of mental illness are common in our world.  They can be aggravated by every one of the stressors mentioned above.  In our country, we have a problem of inadequate mental health care AND a stigma for using such care.  Mental illness is ILLNESS.  It is not a character flaw.  It does not make a person defective.  It means they have a challenge to overcome or to manage.  Through therapy, through medication, through proper treatment, the majority of people with mental health challenges lead productive, happy and successful lives.  

One way to reduce the stigma of mental health care is to acknowledge that it is also useful for people in difficult times of their lives.  When someone is grieving, dealing with a trauma, or having a career or life difficulty; therapy, counseling, talking to a clergy person can be very helpful.  Having a non-anxious, non-judgmental person help you talk through whatever challenge you are going through can be very helpful.

In my own life, like many caregivers, I have check-ins with a therapist/counselor.  By discussing the challenging cases I see, I get assistance reminding myself of the importance of taking care of myself.  By talking to someone else, I am better able to help my community, my family, my friends and myself.

The hardest part of depression is the that when someone is in the middle of a depressive episode, they simply cannot imagine getting out of it. It can feel isolating.  A person may feel trapped, alone, without any support--even when those around are trying to help.  Yet, with the proper support, great strides are possible.  As the Talmud says, "A prisoner cannot free himself from jail."  Someone who is depressed needs the help of others to break through--yet they need to recognize the possibility of improvement.  It is not easy, but it is possible.

It does get better, but it can seem impossible at the time.  Life is worth living.

I could now include many, many biblical and rabbinic sources on the wonder and meaning of life.  While those might be happy to some, the most important number is below.  As always, I am here for you, too.

For more information, see:

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

No matter what problems you are dealing with, we want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.

If you feel you are in a crisis, whether or not you are thinking about killing yourself, please call the Lifeline. People have called us for help with substance abuse, economic worries, relationship and family problems, sexual orientation, illness, getting over abuse, depression, mental and physical illness, and even loneliness.

Elul Day 3--a Bar Mitzvah Video goes Viral and many cringe (but should they?)

Around the web this week have been discussions of Bar Mitzvah videos.

See this link for an example:
http://www.tabletmag.com/scroll/140726/the-evolution-of-the-bar-mitzvah-dance-video

Many looking at this video see it as over the top.  They complain of the money wasted on it, the seemingly outrageous idea of hiring professional dancers in skimpy outfit, and the lack of Jewish content.  I guess they didn't see the pre-Bar Mitzvah video--the second video on the page.  That one included friends and family, kippot, studying? his parsha, and perhaps his rabbi (or at least some shots in the shul--with the family's name on the donation wall).

As we enter Elul, it is appropriate for us to consider the words that come out of our mouths, the thoughts we choose to share with others in line, online, or anywhere.  Whether we speak, type, sign or otherwise communicate, what we share with others is a reflection of our values.  If we choose to berate 13 year olds and their values publicly, what does that say about us?

There is a classic story of an individual who comes to the rabbi after sharing a rumor about someone.  The rabbi says the person should empty a feather pillow on top of a mountain on a windy day and then come back to the rabbi's office the following day.  The next day the individual returns and the rabbis says go back to the mountain and collect all of the feathers.  The individual says that is impossible!  They have been dispersed throughout the village.  The rabbi says--yes that is the danger of speaking.  Our words can spread farther than we ever imagined.

Today that is more true than ever.  One blog can be shared and re-shared, tweeted and retweeted until it goes as viral as the video above.  Rather than seeing the internet as a way to write more and more nonsense, we must see it as a place to spread more and more holiness, kindness and love.

Yet if we do NOT speak, what does that say about us?  As Jews we are commanded not to stand idly by. We are supposed to warn/stop/prevent evil or bad behavior by our friends and compatriots. Yet, to give effective warnings and criticisms, we must know the individual and care for them.

Is this video over the top?  Of course it is.  Does it reflect what I hope for my daughter's Bat Mitzvah?  No, it does not.  I would much rather see a video of this young man's charitable works, how he volunteers his free time, how he uses his (clearly) tremendous financial resources to do good, and finally, how he studies and lives Torah.

At the end of the day though, he is a kid and none of this happened entirely through his own will or resources.  His parents participated and funded it.  Most importantly, they felt that his Jewish identity was important enough to celebrate his becoming a Bar Mitzvah.  While it may be over the top, he and his family are clearly members of a Jewish community and supporters of a congregation (see their name on the wall in the second video).  That in itself is a great mitzvah.

How do you celebrate your Jewish identity?
Do you make a viral video?
Do you speak kindly or rudely to the efforts of others?  

As we approach Rosh Hashanah, let us consider not only how we speak, but to whom we speak, where we speak and what the next person will say.  The Chafetz Chaim, the master teacher on the laws of speech tells us we should not even speak positively about someone in the presence of that person's enemy, since we will be facilitating lashon hara!  (Ie no "Bush is the best president ever" at the DNC convention or "Obama is awesome" at a Tea Party event.)