Thank you JTS. RTI was amazing.

From January 7-11, 2018, I had the privilege of attending the 33rd Annual Rabbinic Training Institute.

 I am deeply grateful to an anonymous donor who helped make it possible for me to attend. Since my ordination, I’ve desired to go, but time and/or finances have never quite worked out. I cannot fully express my appreciation to them for making it happen this year.

Every year I would hear from colleagues what an amazing experience it was. I heard of colleagues who have been every year for a decade or more. They spoke highly of hevruta, of collegiality, of time for Torah that was truly Lishmah.

My time at Pearlstone was restorative. It was enriching. It was inspiring. Studying with Rabbi Dr. Jeff Rubenstein, Rabbi Dr. Joel Roth, and Rabbi Dan Liben was so powerful. The professional skills were also useful, but the Torah was simply on another plane. I am grateful for having the opportunity to put text in context with Dr. Rubenstein, to think about how to connect Talmudic sources to our modern lives. While I attempt (and regularly fail) at Daf Yomi, I enjoy the breadth of the material, of trying to think about how the rabbis would view our milieu.  Dr. Rubenstein really captured that spirit, juxtaposing modern and ancient texts in unique ways. I was especially fond of the Israeli/Bavli intermarriage and comparison to Amelia Bedelia.

Studying with Rabbi Roth is always a pleasure. His digressions are as inspiring as his texts. He finds ways of reminding us of the importance of studying from those we may disagree with, of looking at complicated and challenging issues and finding more positive solutions. He is humorous and serious in a way that shows a living Torah.

Rabbi Liben’s manner of teaching was so gentle and yet so hopeful. He brought an energy and a level of forgiveness that I needed at this time in my life. The texts and practices he shared were a reminder of how we can build a spiritual practice through our sources, our prayers, our liturgy. Again, the Torah he taught was vital, filled with a life force human and Divine.

In our daily lives as rabbis, we strive to be present for our communities and congregants. Sometimes we need a reminder to stop and take care of our own souls, our own bodies, our own spirits, our own hearts and minds. RTI was a sacred gift. It brought me closer to myself, to my friends, my Torah, and to our shared Shechinah, our Divine Presence. It was a holy experience and I returned energized and enlivened. Since I have returned, I have mentioned RTI on a daily basis. The Torah I learned there is one that will be with me always. I cannot wait to sign up for next year.

Jewish values in a challenging time

What are our values?

What do we care about?

Our history and texts teach us that there are multiple paths to annunciate and demonstrate what we care about.  We can write, speak, march, do, listen, care, spend money.  Some say actions are louder than words, while others focus on the power of the pen (or keyboard).

In our morning prayers, we do not just bless the Holy One for the gift of Torah, but rather say:

Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha’olam asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu la’asok b’divrei torah.

Blessed are You, Lord our God, Master of Space and Time, who has sanctified us with commandments, and commanded us to be occupied with words of Torah.

The word “la’asok” is key here.  Translations vary from study, to be occupied with, to practice, to engage with.  Regardless of how we translate the word, it is one that demands action.  It is an active word imagining us wrestling, fighting with, engaging with the texts.

Our texts debate which is more important--action or study, with strong arguments on each side.  One of the most popular of those debates in the Talmud ends with the command that we study--for it leads to action.  (See for example: http://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/learning-amp-doing/)

For me study is a gift.  It is time to consider our past, present and future.  It is a way to see the conversations that are relevant today have been with us for generations.  The Torah teaches repeatedly about caring for the stranger, widow and orphan--those who need a little more help.  The Talmud teaches about the importance of freeing slaves and redeeming captives--knowing that the world is not perfect and we can be both oppressor and victim.  Our identities are not static, but ever changing.  Our choices make all the difference.

This week has made me very antsy.  Hearing reports of cemeteries desecrated, of JCCs and Jewish centers and schools having bomb threats, I wonder how I can most actively contribute.  Donations are wonderful, but how can we prevent future attacks?  How can I be a voice for calm and reason when I, myself, am frustrated?

So I have made phone calls to my elected officials.  I have thanked my local police officers. I lock my doors and set the alarm, yet I also make sure that I remain active in community events. I have recommitted myself to study.  I pray that my study will lead me to further action.  What will you do next?

Are we talking about life or death?

The parshah entitled Hayay Sarah opens with the death of the title character.  It ends with the death of Avraham and the line of Ishmael.  In between we have the shidduch and marriage of Yitzhak and Rivkah.  One could go the easy route and say the parsha is named because the first significant words are “Hayay Sarah,” but I think there is more to the name.

As a people of books, of manuscripts, of letters, we are a people of words.  We have rules of how to speak to each other, of how to write to each other, and even what words we can use of each other.  The Hafetz Hayim’s fame began when he wrote a book on how best to speak to one another, how to prevent libel and even gossip.  In Pirkei Avot, we are taught that when we cite someone’s words b’shem omro, in the name of the person that spoke them, we bring about the redemption of the world.  Before the creation of copyright law, Hebrew books often had extensive curses on the one who might reprint material without the permission of the author or original publisher.  Words are important to Jews.

When we speak about death in Jewish communities, we often avoid the subject directly.  We might hear someone is “niftar” or has departed to their eternal home.  We speak of olam haba, the world to come, or Gan Eden, the Garden of Eden.  Cemeteries rarely have the word cemetery in them.  In some communities, they are called “Gates of Life” or some such euphemism (just as in the Talmud when it says an evil person is blessed, it really means cursed!)

In our parshah, twenty verses discuss the negotiation of a burial place for Sarah, but sixty-seven discuss the betrothal and wedding of Rivkah and Yitzhak.  I was reminded recently of the debate in the Talmud about when a funeral procession and a wedding procession meet at an intersection, who gets priority?  The answer is the wedding procession, just as it seems in this parshah--in Judaism, we spend our lives thinking about life, not death.

In my mind, the parshah was named deliberately, Hayay Sarah is about Sarah’s legacy.  It is about how the good she did during her life translated into the good of her children.  Her husband took care of her remains, lovingly, and then ensured that she lived on, by arranging Yitzhak’s marriage and ensuring grandchildren.

After Avraham ensured his son’s legacy, he looked towards his own happiness.  He married again and had more children, yet was careful to make sure that Yitzhak gained his actual inheritance, his spiritual legacy.  Rashi notes that his second wife was actually his first mistress, Hagar.  Perhaps she was renamed to demonstrate her new potential and new covenant with God, just like Avraham and Sarah.

It is telling that the penultimate section of the parshah is the temporary reunification of Yitzhak and Yishmael.  Having the two sons bury their father, together, demonstrates how death can interact with life, creating the family reunions that we neglect to plan.

Concluding with Yishmael’s descendants teaches that God’s promises are fulfilled.  Just as Yitzhak’s descendants complete God’s promises to Avraham, Yishmael’s descendants complete God’s promises to Hagar.

All in all, just as the parshah is entitled, we speak of life, not death.  This is truly for the best.

Over the last three weeks, I have discussed the practices and observance of Shabbat in a series of classes.  In the weeks, to come I will be meeting on Tuesday nights (with the exception of the Interfaith Thanksgiving, to look at some texts from the Talmud, to discover what Talmud is and to look at the intimate discussions and relationships which continue to shape our lives today.  Simply put, as Jews, even more than the Bible, the Talmud is the source that deals with our daily lives, and yet for many of us, it is a text with which we are almost wholly unfamiliar.  We are not biblical Jews, not Karaites, but rabbinic Jews.  Discussing EVERY subject under the sun from the ratio of pi, to whether it is ok to shave your body hair, to what sacrifices would we offer if the Temple were in existence, to love, marriage, divorce, what we eat, how to sleep, what to do with our lives and so on and so on and so on.  The debates reveal differing schools of thought on biblical interpretation and human interactions.  To give one powerful example we discussed over the last three weeks, the Torah says in the Ten Commandments Observe and Keep the Shabbat.  It tells us not to work on Shabbat or Festivals, yet never clearly defines what work is.  The Talmud then has two books entirely devoted to how one can keep Shabbat.  

In my rabbinate, what I strive to teach is that every moment is an opportunity for life and for Jewish choices.  Some people don’t quite follow the complicated debates of the Talmud. Why do they get so nitty gritty?  Why are they focused on every little detail?  Don’t they have anything better to do?  In my daily study I sometimes get bogged down with texts that seem less relevant to my life--yet I try to push on.  Why?  Because what the rabbis were doing was struggling with all of the big questions.  Life isn’t lived just in the theoretical.  It’s lived in all of the individual daily moments--the crazy moments, the good moments, the bad moments.  The moments when we hear bad news and the ones where we celebrate.  Life is the nitty gritty.  I invite you to join with me in the next few weeks--argue with me and we will learn together!

Eat, be satisfied, and thank Gd, Eikev 2014

Rabbi Philip Weintraub

Congregation Agudas Israel

8/16/2014

Technology is a funny thing.  It helps us in so many ways, yet slows us down in others.  Looking at this week’s parsha, I realized there were topics I did not want to discuss, and topics I did, most specifically Chapter 8, vs 10  10 “When you have eaten your fill, give thanks to the Lord your God for the good land which He has given you.” (NJPS translation from http://learn.jtsa.edu/content/translations/eikev/torah-portion/eikev )

”   וְאָכַלְתָּ, וְשָׂבָעְתָּ--וּבֵרַכְתָּ אֶת-י--ה-ו--ה אֱ--לֹהֶיךָ, עַל-הָאָרֶץ הַטֹּבָה אֲשֶׁר נָתַן-לָךְ.

I knew that I had written about that verse, about the Talmud’s extensive discussion, but did not know when/where.  I scrolled down through pages and pages of tweets on twitter, eventually reminding myself that the Talmudic source for Grace after Meals is in Talmud Brachot 47 and following.  I searched my google drive--my old sermons in the cloud--and found from Rosh Hashanah 2012 the following:

Today’s study, p. 47, is in the seventh chapter, which mainly discusses Grace After Meals.  Just as the Gemara connects one story to another, this section reminds me of a story in my own life.  I was once finishing a lunch in the food court of a mall in Jerusalem.  Sitting with me was an Orthodox rabbi I had known in college.  As we prepared to say the Grace After Meals, he wondered aloud about people’s quest for spirituality.  He said he could not understand how some Jews described themselves as “spiritual but not religious” but that many of those very people did not say Thanks to Gd after they ate.  He said “How can you take the great blessing, that is eating, being blessed to have enough to eat in such an insecure world and NOT thank Gd for such good fortune!”  I was glad he spoke rhetorically, since I had no good answer to his challenge!  It made me think about my own difficulty in saying Birkat Hamazon, Grace after Meals, regularly, and he thus encouraged me to say it more often.

For us today, this is a great lesson.  Elsewhere in Brachot, it says that one of the reasons the Jews merited the land was that they blessed Gd even when they were NOT satisfied with their food, with their portion.  It is hard enough to offer thanks when we are satisfied, but to find it in our hearts to appreciate Gd when we do NOT have enough is even more challenging.  Returning to Rosh Hashanah two years ago, I wrote about the

the 47th daf/page of Brachot.  On that page I will see conversations about waiting for others to be served and bless their food before eating; when to say “Amen” to the blessings of others; how much food a waiter needs to eat to join a group who would like to say Grace after meals; the fact that a convert is not Jewish until he/she has gone to the mikvah (ritual bath); and can you have a minyan of 9 plus a Torah?  As you can see, some of those subjects are clearly related to Grace after Meals and others seem like tangents, but very interesting ones.  For more details, you’ll have to look at it yourself.  

The Talmud regularly demonstrates associative thinking.  Like many of us, it starts discussing a topic, then gets sidetracked.  For some modern thinkers, this is incredibly annoying--why can’t they just stick to a topic, but for others, the side notes are what they are coming for, those little pictures of Talmudic life, of Judaism in another era.  Yet, how many of us do exactly the same thing.  We are telling a story about our hilarious uncle, and then rather than finishing the story, we tell three others before getting back to the point.  On a side note, the books of Midrashim, Genesis Rabba, Sifra, Sifrei, include many early rabbinic sermons.  They start and end with a verse and tell many other stories in between--with the goal being to create a web of connections bringing you from the beginning to the end.  When Chasiddic rebbes would teach on Shabbat, this style was also very common, starting with a verse from the parsha, touching here and there and everywhere in rabbinic literature before coming back to the original to teach a lesson or a principle.   In some ways we have changed, in others we have stayed the same.

The real reason I shared this verse

וְאָכַלְתָּ, וְשָׂבָעְתָּ--וּבֵרַכְתָּ אֶת-י--ה-ו--ה אֱ--לֹהֶיךָ, עַל-הָאָרֶץ הַטֹּבָה אֲשֶׁר נָתַן-לָךְ.

was because of Robin Williams.  In the last couple days we have heard the story and the challenges of a man who struggled with addiction, with depression, with his own inner demons, yet managed to fight through all of that to teach poignant lessons to us all, to bring a light, a laughter, a humor to so many people.   He once joked “I went to rehab in wine country, just to keep my options open.”  His humor was incredible.  His openness to his struggles brought help to many.  I heard on the radio of his own openness to discuss therapy and the years that it brought him, the way it changed his life for the better.  As such, he was an inspiration for so many.  I pray that his death will encourage people to get the help they need.  All of us need the support of each other--one of the things I mentioned on Tisha B’Av.  Yet sometimes, we need more help.  With Judaism’s focus on Pikuach Nefesh, the saving of a life, we know that it is important to ask for help, but sometimes it is not easy.  

The challenge of depression is its power, its overwhelming nature.  In the midst, it seems there is no getting out.  The verse I mentioned is that we eat, we are satisfied and we bless/offer thanks.  When one is depressed there is no such thing as satisfaction.  Someone who is depressed cannot reach the level of thanks because they cannot recognize their own satisfaction.  Robin Williams could not be satisfied with the success, with the love, with anything, because he had a deadly disease--depression.  Until our society recognizes depression as a disease and not a character flaw, we are making this world more difficult for so many people.  I shared this week a blog from the wife of a rabbi I know.  She shared that when she was younger she went through a bout of depression.  At the time, she could see no way out.  Eventually she found support, therapy, etc., etc. and managed to be happy again.  Now she has been fighting cancer.  This time around, her community, her friends, her family, everyone rallied around her.  They helped take care of her son, helped around the house.  When people show the same level of support for those fighting depression as those fighting cancer, the world will be a better place. (See blog here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/kenterskicklymphoma/journal/view/id/53ea7686a689b4bd04a369e2 )

From our holy Torah we learn that if we can eat and be satisfied, then we can find it in our hearts to be thankful to Gd for all of our gifts.  Many of us are good at the eating.  Some of us are pretty good at thanking Gd.  It is the being satisfied part that is challenging.  We may desire that which we do not have, that which our neighbors or friends or those on TV have.  If we live our lives in that space, we can find ourselves wanting, as in lacking and also wanting, as in wanting more.  As I mentioned earlier, we gain merit for offering thanks, especially when we are not completely satisfied.  The funny thing is that once we offer thanks, we find that we ARE satisfied.  Think about eating dinner.  How often do you go back for seconds?  What happens most of the time if you wait ten minutes--you realize you are full and don’t need those seconds!  If we took that time to thank Gd, we would realize we do not actually need anymore.  We have enough.  If we flip the order around, if we offer thanks second, we can find that missing satisfaction.

The simple lesson from this one verse is the secret to a good life.  Enjoy, be satisfied and offer thanks.  It can be lesson for how we treat one another--enjoy each others presence, recognize and appreciate it within yourself and then share that gratitude with the ones bringing you joy.  It can be a lesson for how we relate to Gd and the universe--for food, for comfort, for the very gift of life.  As we start looking ahead towards the holidays to come, let us recognize all the good and Gd in our lives and offer thanks.  Shabbat Shalom.

Behalotecha 2014

Rabbi Philip Weintraub

Congregation Agudas Israel

June 7, 2014

Ploni’s Bar Mitzvah/Parshat Behalotecha

Today is a beautiful day.  Thankfully the weather seems to agree, but today is not beautiful because of the sunshine.  Today is beautiful because of the people in this room, because of the words that have been said, the words that will be said and the Torah that we read.

Whether you were in this room or any synagogue anywhere in the world, someone would be reading from the Torah.  They would not be reading from any random spot, but rather starding their reading from chapter 8 of the book of Bamidbar, the book of Numbers.  Can you imagine, that at the same time as Ploni was reading from this Torah, Jewish men and women, girls and boys were taking a yad, a pointer, and reading the same words, with the same melodies all around the world.  When Ploni picked up that pointer today, he took hold of his and our Jewish tradition.  He bound himself to a chain stretching back to Moses, stretching back to Abraham, stretching back to Adam and Havvah, to Adam and Eve.

In our reading this morning, I started with one the classic lines of the Torah.  Gd spoke to Moses saying.  It continues with the description of the Menorah in the Temple.

א  וַיְדַבֵּר יְ-ה-וָ-ה, אֶל-מֹשֶׁה לֵּאמֹר.	1 And the LORD spoke unto Moses, saying:
ב  דַּבֵּר, אֶל-אַהֲרֹן, וְאָמַרְתָּ, אֵלָיו:  בְּהַעֲלֹתְךָ, אֶת-הַנֵּרֹת, אֶל-מוּל פְּנֵי הַמְּנוֹרָה, יָאִירוּ שִׁבְעַת הַנֵּרוֹת.	2 'Speak unto Aaron, and say unto him: When thou lightest the lamps, the seven lamps shall give light in front of the candlestick.'
ג  וַיַּעַשׂ כֵּן, אַהֲרֹן--אֶל-מוּל פְּנֵי הַמְּנוֹרָה, הֶעֱלָה נֵרֹתֶיהָ:  כַּאֲשֶׁר צִוָּה יְ-ה-וָ-ה, אֶת-מֹשֶׁה.	3 And Aaron did so: he lighted the lamps thereof so as to give light in front of the candlestick, as the LORD commanded Moses.
ד  וְזֶה מַעֲשֵׂה הַמְּנֹרָה מִקְשָׁה זָהָב, עַד-יְרֵכָהּ עַד-פִּרְחָהּ מִקְשָׁה הִוא:  כַּמַּרְאֶה, אֲשֶׁר הֶרְאָה יְ-ה-וָ-ה אֶת-מֹשֶׁה--כֵּן עָשָׂה, אֶת-הַמְּנֹרָה.  {פ}	4 And this was the work of the candlestick, beaten work of gold; unto the base thereof, and unto the flowers thereof, it was beaten work; according unto the pattern which the LORD had shown Moses, so he made the candlestick. {P}

Now, if I were you, I might here Menorah and think Chanukkah, but in fact, the Menorah originally was simply a light in the Temple.  It was the eternal flame--like the light hanging above me.  Continually re-filled, it shared the light of the Holy One, of Gd, with every person who walked through the doors of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem.  Having not been able to worship in the Temple for almost 2000 years, every synagogue has an eternal light, a lamp constantly lit to remind us of that holy place and of our mission as Jews.

Mentioned in the book of Isaiah, Jews are commanded to be ,לְאוֹר גּוֹיִם, a light unto the nations.  It is not an easy task, so we have many commandments and traditions to help us follow in Gd’s metaphorical footsteps.  Whether in how we eat, or how we talk to others, how we are to treat all with respect, how we are to be honest in our business dealings, we have commandments for everything.  Now if only all Jews would follow them!

Elsewhere in our Torah, in Exodus 25:11, we have a description of the Ark that was in the Temple.  Just like the Menorah it was pure gold, inside and out.

יא  וְצִפִּיתָ אֹתוֹ זָהָב טָהוֹר, מִבַּיִת וּמִחוּץ תְּצַפֶּנּוּ; וְעָשִׂיתָ עָלָיו זֵר זָהָב, סָבִיב.

11 And thou shalt overlay it with pure gold, within and without shalt thou overlay it, and shalt make upon it a crown of gold round about.

In the Talmud, a collections of Jewish wisdom and law, Rava says: Any Torah scholar whose inside is not like his outside (who is not as righteous as he or she appears to be) is not a true Torah scholar.  

What does this mean?  It tells us that to truly be an ideal person, we have to work to make sure that our insides match our outsides and vice versa.  To me, adolescence is beginning this project of making our outsides and insides match.  Going through middle school, high school and even college, we may try on different personalities, cliques, clubs.  Hopefully by the time we are adults, we know who we are and where we are going.  In this way, the Torah can be light for us.  Knowing what our values are, knowing where we stand, can smooth the challenges of adolescence, the challenges of life.  If we know that we are living a life of honor, of character, of a commanded life, we gain the confidence and the wisdom of thousands of years of learning and tradition.

Ploni, stand up.  Today we celebrate your Bar Mitzvah, but what we are really celebrating is that you ARE a Bar Mitzvah, a son of the commandments.  We celebrate you taking hold of your traditions, making them your own.  In your haftorah this morning, you read:

ו  וַיַּעַן וַיֹּאמֶר אֵלַי, לֵאמֹר, זֶה דְּבַר-יְ-ה-וָ-ה, אֶל-זְרֻבָּבֶל לֵאמֹר:  לֹא בְחַיִל, וְלֹא בְכֹחַ--כִּי אִם-בְּרוּחִי, אָמַר יְ-ה-וָ-ה צְבָאוֹת.

6 Then he answered and spoke unto me, saying: 'This is the word of the LORD unto Zerubbabel, saying: Not by might, nor by power, but by My spirit, saith the LORD of hosts.

For the last few months you have worked very hard.  We have studied together on good days and more challenging ones.  I have seen you grow right before my eyes.  In our time together I have seen you triumph in the Science Fair and moments of struggle.  Yet through it all, we kept working.  We kept going and going and going until today, when every word was correct, when every syllable and note was just right. I said to your mom yesterday, that there is a miracle that happens at (almost) every Bar Mitzvah, somehow, it all comes together--not by might, not by power, but with the help of Gd (and Jewish mothers everywhere).

You spoke of your work at the Soup Kitchen and your holy work of Bikkur Holim, of visiting those who are not at the peak of health.  In both those cases, and many others, you demonstrate the good heart that you have.  You show that you are living your Jewish values, looking out for those that need a little more help.

As we look to the future, I know those values will remain with you.  I hope that we will continue to find time to study together, to look at Jewish texts together and to help you live a Jewish life.  In Pirkei Avot, the Ethics of our Ancestors, in the fifth chapter, is one of my favorite lines of our tradition--partly because the guy has one of the best names in our tradition!

כב בֶּן בַּג בַּג אוֹמֵר, הֲפָךְ בָּהּ וַהֲפָךְ בָּהּ, דְּכֹלָּא בָהּ. ובָהּ תֶּחֱזֵי, וְסִיב וּבְלֵה בַהּ, וּמִנַּהּ לָא תְזוּעַ, שֶׁאֵין לְךָ מִדָּה טוֹבָה הֵימֶנָּה:

The son of Bag Bag (ben Bag Bag said); Delve and delve into it, for all is in it; see with it; grow old and worn in it; do not budge from it, for there is nothing better.

That text is immediately followed by:

כג בֶּן הֵא הֵא אוֹמֵר, לְפוּם צַעֲרָא אַגְרָא:

Ben Hei Hei said, “The reward is commensurate with the effort.”

You have put in a lot of work.  The lunch your mom arranged seems like a pretty great reward--but in truth, the reward is that you will continue to live a Jewish life.  Today is not the end of your Jewish education or life, it is the beginning.  You have the tools, the direction, the opportunities.  Now the choices are yours.  To help you on the right path, you are all invited back for Shabbat Hanukkah.  On December 20, Ploni will be standing with me again, as he chants the Haftorah he so beautifully read this morning!  I am so proud of you today, Ploni, and I am sure that every person in this room is, too!  Mazal tov!

What is Torah? Shavuot Yizkor 2014

Rabbi Philip Weintraub

Congregation Agudas Israel

Torah of Law, Narrative or Memory?

What do you think of when I say Torah?

Do you think of the scrolls we read from this morning?

Or lists of do’s and don’ts?

How about love, of lovingkindness?

In our holy Talmud, in Tractate Sukkah 49B, there are two very powerful paragraphs about the nature of Torah.  The first we study many Shabbat mornings on  p. 69 of our Siddur.  From the translation there:

תלמוד בבלי מסכת סוכה דף מט עמוד ב

ואמר רבי אלעזר: כל העושה צדקה ומשפט - כאילו מילא כל העולם כולו חסד, שנאמר +תהלים לג+ אוהב צדקה ומשפט חסד ה' מלאה הארץ.

Rabbi Elazar said: whoever does deeds of charity and justice is considered as having filled the world with lovingkindness, as it is written “God loves charity and justice; the earth is filled with Adonai’s lovingkindness” (Ps. 33:5)

תלמוד בבלי מסכת סוכה דף מט עמוד ב

ואמר רבי אלעזר: מאי דכתיב +משלי לא+ פיה פתחה בחכמה ותורת חסד על לשונה וכי יש תורה של חסד ויש תורה שאינה של חסד? אלא: תורה לשמה - זו היא תורה של חסד, שלא לשמה - זו היא תורה שאינה של חסד. איכא דאמרי: תורה ללמדה - זו היא תורה של חסד, שלא ללמדה - זו היא תורה שאינה של חסד.

Rabbi Elazar quoted this verse: “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the Torah of lovingkindness is on her tongue” (proverbs 31:26). What is the intent of this verse? Is there one Torah of lovingkindness and another which is not of lovingkindness? Torah studied for its own merit is a Torah of lovingkindness, whereas Torah studied for an ulterior motive is not.  And some say that Torah studied in order to teach is a Torah of lovingkindness, whereas Torah not studied in order to teach is not a Torah of lovingkindness. (Siddur Sim Shalom for Shabbat and Festivals, p.69)

Our sages, our sage, Rabbi Elazar, is discussing how great a mitzvah, how great a command it is to be a good person, to treat others with respect, and to make sure that people have their basic needs met.  These needs are not only physical, but spiritual.  As Jews, we are commanded to study Torah, to teach Torah, to live Torah.  When we do mitzvot and when we do acts of lovingkindness (gemilut hasadim), we are bringing Gdliness into the world.  

In my more recent Talmud study, I have been studying Tractate Rosh Hashanah.  Within that study, there has been a discussion about life after death, about what happens to us next.  One of the conversations says that after death, we are in a type of purgatory for a year.  After 12 months, we either make our way to heaven, to the world to come, or become ashes.  From a Jewish perspective, this is one of the reasons we say Kaddish or do mitzvot or study in the name of ones we have lost.  By doing good things in their name, we help to bring them into the world to come.  This brings me to my next text, also from Sukkah 49B

תלמוד בבלי, סוכה מט:

Original Text:

תנו רבנן: בשלשה דברים גדולה גמילות חסדים יותר מן הצדקה, צדקה - בממונו, גמילות חסדים - בין בגופו בין בממונו. צדקה - לעניים, גמילות חסדים - בין לעניים בין לעשירים. צדקה - לחיים, גמילות חסדים - בין לחיים בין למתים.

Here my translation is from on1foot.org

Our Sages taught: Gemilut chasadim (acts of loving kindness) is greater than tzedakah in three ways: Acts of tzedakah involve only one’s money – gemilut chasadim can involve both money or one’s personal service. Tzedakah can be given only to the poor – gemilut chasadim can be done both for the rich and for the poor. Tzedakah can be given only to the living – gemilut chasadim can be done both for the living and the dead.

http://www.on1foot.org/text/babyloniantalmud-sukkah-49b

If you have been to a funeral with me, you may have heard me speak about what a holy opportunity it is to physically help bury someone, that the act of shoveling dirt onto a friend, loved one, or even any person’s grave, is tremendously holy.  I speak about how this is a great mitzvah because it has no expectation of reciprocity.  This is an example of how we can do mitzvot for those who are no longer with us.

To me, our holy Torah, our holy traditions can be boiled down to love.  We are commanded to love our neighbors.  Hillel taught that the essence of Torah is not to do what is hateful to us, to others.  Love is the start of ALL of our commandments.  Whether it is love of others or love of God, every command, even the ones that do not seem so are related to our love of God and God’s love for us.

When we think of our loved ones, we think not only of their love, but the ways that we showed love.  Whether it was making our beds because our spouse liked the bed made or making a special dinner or seeing a show or travelling because our parents or friends or children loved to do those things.  When we do those things without them, we are happy for the memories, but also a little sad that they are not with us.  

The same is true of Torah, of the mitzvot.  For some of us, we live Jewish lives because of our love for God.  Some observant Jews might not really care about the laws of kashrut, but they do them because they love God.  I don’t really care about making my bed, but I know that Rebecca is happier if I do!

The Torah teaches that when we show our love for others, when we help others, when we care for others, we are living the values taught by God.  We are emulating God.  What better way to show respect and love for someone but to follow their examples.

Many children follow their parents in the same way.  They become accountants or doctors to follow in their parents footsteps.  They make the same foods on holidays and special occasions, because Shabbat or Rosh Hashanah is not the same without Bubbe’s matzo ball soup.  By living our lives in the footsteps of the ones we love, in the footsteps of God, we can find great depth, great meaning in our lives.  By passing our traditions to our children, we can extend the memory of those that are no longer with us.

Today we stand together to remember, to say Yizkor, to say words that remind us of the ones that we have lost.  We remember those who have touched our lives, given birth to us or the ones we love.  They have been our partners and friends.  They have been our children and our relatives.  We are bereft without them, yet we know that by following in their footsteps we can make our lives better.  The magic of Yizkor, the magic of Jewish tradition is also the belief that we can better their existence through our actions.  By making good choices, doing good deeds, we may believe that we are not only bringing ourselves closer to God, but also the ones whom we have lost.  Now that is a powerful thought.  In the traditional prayers for Yizkor, there is a line about donating charity in their memory.  Through these donations, through good deeds, we continue to uplift their spirits AND our own.  Please open your Yizkor booklets or turn to the Siddur at this time.