Rosh Hashanah Day 2: What does Kindness have to do with Jewish life

Rabbi Philip Weintraub

Congregation Agudas Israel

October 4, 2016

Where does kindness fit into a Jewish life?

A few weeks ago I was driving my daughter to camp.  As we were travelling down 9W, we passed a man with a sign on the corner asking for work or food.  Suddenly she is shouting at me.

H: Why is he standing there?

P: Because he is hungry and is looking for someone to give him food or money or work.

H: Can we give him some of our money?

P: That's very nice of you. On my way back from taking you to camp, I'll stop at Dunkin Donuts and get him a sandwich or donut and a drink. What do you think? Should I get a sandwich, donut or both?

H: Donut!

P: I think I'll get both. I'm not sure a donut by itself is a healthy breakfast.

And that's how I met George.

I wish I could tell you that George is now gainfully employed or no longer on that corner, but I have only seen him and said hi to him once more.

One of the most repeated verses in our Torah is a command to care for those less fortunate, in Biblical language, the widow, the orphan, the stranger. Thinking about this lesson, makes me consider the lessons we try to teach our families, the legacies we create.

For many, an ethical will is a powerful tool, giving them an opportunity to write about their values, to think about their values, to share their values.  On November 1, I will invite you to join me for that moving activity.  Yet, what do we do on a daily basis to teach our loved ones our values?  What lessons do we wish our children, our grandchildren, our students and friends to know?  What is the legacy we wish to teach?

Central to that legacy, is to be a good person, a mentsch, maybe even a tzaddik, a righteous person.  We strive to be the best selves that we can, to use every resource we have to live our best lives.  And yet, I fear that too often we accidentally teach the lesson that the “one with the most toys wins”?  (Says the one desiring the new iphone and enjoying his new previous generation apple watch!)  Like all of us, I know that I have work to do!

This morning we read one of the most traumatic parenting stories of the Torah: The Akedah, Abraham binding his son on the altar, even lifting the knife to sacrifice his son, with only the angels repeated call, “Abraham, Abraham” stopping him and bringing him back from the brink.  In our history, in times of martyrdom, and anti-Jewish violence, there are even tales that rewrite the story, claiming Isaac WAS sacrificed and then resurrected.  However we read it, it is a central piece of the Jewish and Abrahamic tradition--that Abraham showed his faith in God--in his own symbolic Father--and was willing to sacrifice his child for the greater good.  We might imagine that few of us would make the same choice, yet we all do every single year.  We know that our country needs protection, a military.  We know that serving can lead to sacrifice, but those sacrifices ensure our freedom and every year there are new volunteers.  Personally, I attempt to express my appreciation for those who have served, while knowing thanks alone is inadequate.  

We want to teach our children that there are some ideals for which we would be willing to give up our lives for. How do we determine what those ideals are?

From the Jewish perspective, we have a tremendous gift, we have the history, the traditions, the blessings of our faith.  Yesterday I mentioned the questions we are asked in heaven--the idea that actions have consequences!  Judaism has numerous sacred texts.  From the Torah to the Talmud, to rabbinic writings in every generation, we are part of a chain of tradition to Sinai and beyond.  We read the stories of our ancestors over and over again.  We hafoch ba v hafoch ba, turn them over and over and discover new meanings and lessons for every generation.  Yet for so many today, Judaism seems a distant memory.  Of course, if you are in this room, on this sacred day, you feel a pull, yet what is the daily connection?  

My challenge to you is take one day and see how you spend your time.  What do you spend the most time on?  What the least?  What do you REALLY prioritize?  Do your goals and desires match how you actually use your time?

Once we know how we really spend our time, then we can make the changes that we would like.  We know the spaces in our day, the places where we have flexibility.  Looking at my own day, I know facebook is a useful tool to communicate with you, yet it can easily become a black hole of lost productivity.  The iPhone I use to text you and email can create a false sense of connection and break my attention from the ones in front of me, the faces of God that you are, that my wife and children are.  For that I publicly apologize,  I know that I have made progress, but there is still work to do!

The miracle of Jewish life is that it can fit into all those little spaces.  We can do ten minutes of Torah instead of ten minutes of our iphones.  We can pray for three minutes instead of another three minutes of facebook.  The very devices that can be our sources of distraction can also be sources of inspiration and connection.  There is more Torah on the internet than existed before.  One can easily argue that there are more people studying Torah today than there were in the shtetls!  

Every morning, when we give ourselves the chance of blessing our study of Torah,  we can read the following passage in our Siddur:

“There are the deeds that yield immediate fruit (benefit) and continue to yield fruit in time to come: honoring parents; doing deeds of loving kindness; attending the house of study in a timely way morning and evening; providing hospitality; visiting the sick; helping a needy bride; attending to the dead; investigating (the meaning of) prayer; making shalom between one person and another (and between a husband and wife,  some add).  The most basic of these deeds which has an inclusive nature is the study of Torah.” based on Shabbat 127a

Each of these encourages us to treat others well, to ensure they are fed and clothed, but they also have an introspective reminder as well, to give ourselves time to be spiritually nourished.  We may find moments of tranquility in our yoga or meditation, our time in the mountains or at the beach, looking at great art or reading inspiring works of fiction and fact, yet as Jews, we have all this and more.  We have the gift of community, of Torah and its deep reminders of the value of our time.

Thinking about the gift of time, I think about how we use ours.  Most of the time, we are generally decent people.  We give what we can to charity, to the synagogue.  We are nice to most people.  We try to respect one another, yet sometimes we forget the most important gift we have--time.  For many, Shabbat can be the most classic reminder of this sacred gift.  Giving ourselves even a taste of Shabbat, a Shabbat dinner or an hour at synagogue reminds us that the world is always turning, but we do not have to be.  In popular culture, I think of the music of Harry Chapin, who in 1974 put his wife, Sandy’s poem, to music:

the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon

Little boy blue and the man on the moon

When you comin' home, Dad

I don't know when, but we'll get together then

You know we'll have a good time then

As the lyrics return to you, you may remember the story of a father too busy to play with son.  The son ages, comes home from college, doesn’t have time for his dad and then eventually dad, now grandpa wants to see his grandchildren and his son has no time for him.  Basically it is every parent’s nightmare in one song with a catchy tune.

The song’s closing line:

“And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me, he'd grown up just like me./ My boy was just like me.”

Yet what the song teaches so clearly, is that while our children and grandchildren may listen to us--especially when we would prefer they don’t!--what they really learn from is the choices we make--how we use our time.

The choices we make are always on view.  It’s not just what we share on facebook.  How we spend our time is seen by those we love and those we know.  Intuitively we know children are always watching, always listening, yet we forget over and over again (until they tell Aunt Jeannie, that Mom said she’s a bad driver!).  It is a simple lesson that needs frequent repetition--live the life we want to teach.  If we want to teach that something is important, we have to live like it is! The way we spend our time often demonstrates our values. If I really wanted to go to the gym, I’d stop whining about it and I’d actually go!

I recently skimmed through a book whose title I can’t entirely repeat here: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life.  

“What pain do you want to sustain?” The quality of your life is not determined by the quality of your positive experiences but the quality of your negative experiences. And to get good at dealing with negative experiences is to get good at dealing with life.

If we can teach our children how to deal when things don’t go right, when they fail, when we fail, then they can discover their and our true characters--hopefully it is one filled with kindness, with respect, with love!

The lessons I have shared this morning seem intuitive.  They seem obvious, yet they are the lessons that need the most reinforcement.  Even the sunniest of people sometimes need a reminder to pause, think and be kind before responding.  Even the most charitable among us must remember why we give.  Even the most cynical among us can learn to see the gifts of faith.  Even the busiest among us know that time is a gift.  

Today I have asked perhaps too many questions.  I have mused on priorities and the centrality of Judaism to our lives.  I have considered what it means to be a Jewish parent and how we determine what is a principle worth dying for.  While these Days of Awe may seem time-limited, our tradition teaches us that every single day is an opportunity to reflect and consider. Pirkei Avot 2:11 says “Rabbi Eliezer would say: The honor of your fellow should be as precious to you as your own, and do not be easy to anger. Repent one day before your death”.  If you remember nothing else from my words today: We always have another day to change our ways--even unto our last day!  

Rosh Hashanah Day 1: Afterlife in Jewish tradition

Rabbi Philip Weintraub

Congregation Agudas Israel

Rosh Hashanah Day 1

October 3, 2016

If I were to drop dead right now, at this very moment, what happens to me?  Does my soul separate from my body?  Do I hang around as a ghost to tell the next rabbi what to do?  What happens next?  Once it was confirmed that I was unsalvageable, after any useable organs were donated--then we can discuss the rest!  Let me be clear--organ donation is not only acceptable in Jewish law, but strongly encouraged!  What greater mitzvah is there besides saving a life?

In conversations with many of you, we have discussed the briefest of outlines of the Jewish views on the afterlife.  I am careful to say Jewish views, because the Jewish view has evolved, has changed from the Bible to the Talmud to medieval rabbis to the present.  Yet even among individuals, our answers may change over time. At some point in all of our lives, we ask these questions.  For many Jews, we are told by our rabbis and our parents, don’t think about that!  Focus on this life!  How can we possibly answer definitively? Has anyone really ever died and come back to life!?  

While I’ve read dozens of stories about angels and stories of past lives in the Jewish tradition, the skeptical side of my brain makes me think of the Jewish Museum and Ehrich Weisz. A few years back, the Jewish Museum in NY had an exhibit on him, the son of a rabbi, born in Hungary and raised in Wisconsin.  While you might not have heard of Ehrich, Houdini is a household name.  That nice Jewish magician fought against the fraudulent spiritualists of his day, who would swindle people out of their money through “communicating” with the dead.  For years, Houdini offered $10,000, which was even more money in his day than ours, to anyone who would prove something outside the laws of nature--and he never spent that money!

Yet many of us have had moments and all of us know someone who has had moments where they felt or heard or saw something that could not be explained, something that felt like a message, a reminder, a little bit of love from beyond.  Maybe you were in the hospital and saw a vision of a loved one.  What does our tradition have to say about these messages? What does our Torah say about life after death?  We might even have heard one of the many Hasidic stories, of rebbes past, sharing stories of messages from beyond!

Within the Bible, generally speaking, death usually seems to be the end.  Other than Enoch and Elijah, we hear of the death of almost every named biblical figure.  We hear of burials and mourning, but we do not hear of what happens next.  Saul communicates with Samuel (illegally) and Samuel seems pretty annoyed to be called back to Earth from Sheol--the underworld--which seems neither positive nor negative.  Over and over again the Psalms beg God to keep us living, since we cannot praise God in death!  Angels and seraphim and other heavenly bodies and heavenly courts are mentioned--but they seem to be something different--not us in the afterlife.  Ezekiel’s image of the dry bones being resurrected seems to demonstrate God’s power, but does not claim this fate for us all.  To the Torah, to the Bible, death is real, tragic and seemingly final.  We are one in body and soul, and without the body, the Bible does not speak of what happens to the soul.

At the same time, there are hints from which later commentaries expand their worldviews.  It is only the book of Daniel which is slightly more explicit in speaking of life after death.  Daniel, while not the last book in the printed Tanach/Hebrew Bible, is the latest book chronologically.  There we find words of resurrection, of return, of new possibilities.

יג  וְאַתָּה, לֵךְ לַקֵּץ; וְתָנוּחַ וְתַעֲמֹד לְגֹרָלְךָ, לְקֵץ הַיָּמִין.  {ש}

13 But go thou thy way till the end be; and thou shalt rest, and shalt stand up to thy lot, at the end of the days.' {P}

Daniel is promised resurrection!

Many years later, in the the Mishnah, Pirkei Avot 4:16/17 we read:

רַבִּי יַעֲקֹב אוֹמֵר, הָעוֹלָם הַזֶּה דּוֹמֶה לִפְרוֹזְדוֹר בִּפְנֵי הָעוֹלָם הַבָּא. הַתְקֵן עַצְמְךָ בַפְּרוֹזְדוֹר, כְּדֵי שֶׁתִּכָּנֵס לַטְּרַקְלִין:	Rabbi Yaakov says: This world is like a hallway before the world to come. Fix yourself in the hallway so you may enter the drawing room.
הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, יָפָה שָׁעָה אַחַת בִּתְשׁוּבָה וּמַעֲשִׂים טוֹבִים בָּעוֹלָם הַזֶּה, מִכָּל חַיֵּי הָעוֹלָם הַבָּא. וְיָפָה שָׁעָה אַחַת שֶׁל קוֹרַת רוּחַ בָּעוֹלָם הַבָּא, מִכָּל חַיֵּי הָעוֹלָם הַזֶּה:	He would say: One hour of repentance and good deeds in this world is better than all the time in the world to come. And one hour of pleasure in the world to come is better than all the time in this world.

So by the time of the Mishnah and the Talmud, death no longer seems like the end.  The Mishnah there introduces the idea that there is a world to come and it is a wonderful place, but it doesn’t really describe it!  Even as it speaks highly of the next world, it also encourages us to celebrate THIS life--especially the aspects of self-reflection and improving this life, telling us that repentance NOW is far more effective than repentance later!

The rabbis have many stories in the Talmud about the next world and who gets a ticket.  In some ways they are far more generous to gentiles than to Jews--we are encouraged to follow the 613 mitzvot, while they have only 7!  They avoid discussing much about what happens there, but rather what is required to enter!  In Ta’anit 22A (p.127 in Koren), we read two stories of people who Elijah says to Rabbi Beroka will enter the world to come--a Jew and prison guard who disguises himself as a non-Jew to hear any governmental decrees against Jews--and then tells the rabbis about them so that they may pray and find a solution to repeal them.  The second two are jesters/comedians, who cheer up the depressed or make peace between two individuals.

Talmud Brachot 17a offers prayers that this life become like the world to come, informing us in the next life we will sit and study Torah with the Holy One, Godself!  Talmud Shabbat and Brachot 57b says that the peace of Shabbat is 1/60th of the peace and joy of the world to come--but then so too are seeing the sun and using the restroom when you need to!  In some ways, the central Jewish statement on the world to come is from Berachot 34b: “Rabbi Hiyya bar Abba said in the name of Rabbi Yochanan: All of the prophets only prophesied with regards to the days of the Messiah.  However, with regard to the World-to-Come, ‘No eye has seen it, God, aside from You.’”

The rabbis thus see redemption as a two stage process--first there will be a Messianic age, with improved peace and tranquility THEN there will be a final judgement with the world to come.

Talmud Shabbat 31a describes a heavenly tribunal, offering that before entrance to the World to Come, we are asked six questions:

Did you do business with honesty and integrity?

Did you fix set times for studying Torah?

Did you participate in the commandment to be fruitful and multiply? Did you anxiously anticipate the redemption?

Did you engage in the pursuit of wisdom?

Did you have fear of Heaven?

Each and every one of these questions represents a probing not just of our accomplishments, but of our overall character.

Again, we see instruction on how to prepare ourselves--how do we live our lives NOW, but not on what life will be like in the next world!  Over and over, the Talmudic rabbis reference the next life, speaking of the world to come, without giving us intimate details!  Perhaps they fear that if we truly understood, it would be too much for us!  

There are also multiple parables of the interrelation between body and soul, leading towards a judgement that is dependent on both body and soul.  The rabbis imagined that since our mitzvahs were built on our relationship between body and soul, so too were our sins.  How could God judge our soul for the sins of our body or our body for the mitzvot performed with our soul--only together could judgement come!

The medieval  and later Hasidic rabbis had fewer qualms about describing the world to come.  Philosophical treatises, disputations with Christians,  and rabbinic writings reference the world to come in more detail.  The details of final judgements of the relationship between body and soul and resurrection are discussed.  For more details, join me on Tuesday November 15 to learn more about all of these sources!

Maimonides wrote extensively about the afterlife, seeing it as a paradise for scholars, and the intellectual class.  Since the world to come was a way for the intellect to commune and study with the Holy One, the more one studied in this life the better off they would be in the next.  Of course, for Maimonides, deep Torah knowledge included all the knowledge and wisdom of the universe, so he demanded study of biology, medicine, physics, art, and literature--as well as Torah!  Yet his vision of a non-body  focused afterlife enraged his contemporaries.  He was forced to write a paper imagining the afterlife as death, resurrection, death again and finally the unification of only the soul/intellect with God!

Generations later the chasidic master, Rabbi Haim of Romshisok offers a beautiful parable, which is shared in many different cultures and traditions.  Asked about the difference between heaven and hell, he speaks of a long banquet table, filled with amazing food.  Yet in hell, the people are starving.  You see they have no elbows and no way to properly get their food to their mouths.  (Why don’t they just lean over and eat like animals?? It’s a story!)  He then tells his students of heaven, same table, same food, same lack of elbows, yet there the people are full. They use those same utensils to feed each other.  He continues, as it is there, so it is here.  That those who help others in this life will be helped in the next life!

Also in the last few hundred years are numerous texts on the process of atonement in the afterlife, how death and the suffering that might surround death help to atone for the sins of this life.  Medieval books with titles like “Tractate of the Pangs of the Grave” became popular, detailing what punishments happen before souls reach the highest heavens.  Since hell was never a major part of Jewish theology, Gehonnim evolves as a type of purgatory, where we can atone for our sins, be absolved, and enter Olam Haba (the world to come) or Gan Eden (the Garden of Eden).

This emulates the text from Pirkei Avot--that we must repent in this life to be prepared for the next!  Honestly, if we didn’t have death, we would have to invent it!  Death is central to life.  Knowing we will die is essential to living a meaningful life.  While for some it is terrifying, it can really be exhilarating.  How often have we heard “Carpe Diem” or “Seize the day, there is no guarantee of tomorrow” or “live today like it’s your last.”  Again, if we spend all our energy in that space, we will not make our long term goals, but it sure helps with the short term ones.

So now that I have shared the history of Jewish thought, I would like to share some of my own thoughts.  After much consideration, prayer, and time with Rabbi Neil Gillman’s the Death of Death and Simcha Raphael’s Jewish Views of the Afterlife, the following is what seems most true to me.  It is a multi-step process and view of the afterlife.

1. We die.
2. Our soul separates from our body (during shiva).
3. We spend time in Gehenna purifying our soul from sin.
4. We find ourselves in Gan Eden/Olam Haba. (As our loved ones say Kaddish for a year).
5. By our yarhzeit, we are close to God. (Is this the end or do we start the process again--I cannot tell you!)

I do not stand here to tell you that my way is the only way, yet I firmly believe in Olam Ha-Ba, the World to Come.  I believe that I will find the ones I love again.  I believe I will be held accountable for the poor choices I made and find blessing for the better ones.  I believe with perfect faith that if my body is truly part of my soul, then God will restore it to its best health, and be glad that I donated any useable organs.

Yet central to what I believe is that LIVING a Jewish life, living a fulfilled life is the central mission of Judaism.  We are here to be a part of God, Torah and Israel.  Showing up today, whether this is it for the year or we see you every week is part of your destiny.  It is part of what makes you you.  I hope you will join me for many more conversations of what a fulfilled and meaningful Jewish life looks like.  That way, when we see each other in the next life, in Olam Ha-Ba, I pray that we will remember these moments fondly, that serving God, living in Jewish community, offering our prayers inspired us to live meaningful Jewish lives.