Wednesday, September 4, 2013

RH Day 2 Sermon: Secret to Happiness

Rabbi Philip Weintraub
Congregation Agudas Israel
Rosh Hashanah Day 2 2013
September 6, 2013

Every man has his daydreams
Every man has his goal
People like the way dreams have
Of sticking to the soul
Thunderclouds have their lightning
Nightingales have their song
And don't you see I want my life to be
Something more than long....

Rivers belong where they can ramble
Eagles belong where they can fly
I've got to be where my spirit can run free
Got to find my corner of the sky
Pippin is a musical with lyrics and music by Stephen Schwartz.  Bob Fosse directed it on Broadway, where it remained for 5 years, and it has just returned with a circus-style revival, although I have not had a chance to see it!   (Anyone want to babysit Hannah so Rebecca and I can go??)  While on some levels, it is rather absurd and not remotely historically accurate, it is a musical that questions grand ambition and celebrates a simple life.  Pippin, the son of Charlemagne, dreams of ruling the Holy Roman Empire, bringing glory to himself and others, yet he discovers, one can be happier skipping the glory and focusing on family.

What does it mean to be happy?  What do we want out of life?  How do we define success?  How do we find our corner of the sky?

Three big questions.  A multitude of answers.  History, philosophy, religion, psychology and art, all offer different answers, reading the questions in their own way.

Some say the path to happiness and success is great wealth.  Yet, studies of lottery winners find that many of them blow their money and end up poorer and more miserable than they were before!  Those who gain wealth through hard work, on the other hand, remember the sacrifices they made and seem to enjoy it much more.

Some say the path to happiness is success in business or politics.  For some people, this is very true.  They enjoy their success.  They are proud of their accomplishments.  For others though, no success is ever enough.  They cannot just be a city councilperson, they must be a state senator, a Governor and President.  No position will ever be enough.  (If you were here last year on Erev Rosh Hashanah, I spoke of the power of the word just, how we can see the miraculous by simply removing that word!)

Others say the path to happiness is wisdom and knowledge.  If I just get another degree, if I just take another class. . .  Yet for some perpetual students, they remain stuck in grad school seemingly forever, never quite living!

The simple answer to all of these things is Gd and Torah.   Yesterday and Wednesday night, I spoke about the Gd-shaped hole.  I raised the issue that no matter what we do, we may feel lacking, we may feel something is missing, if we don’t let Gd in.  Using our holy Torah, looking at the words of our rabbis and sages, the Mishnah, the Talmud, rabbinic and biblical commentaries of the last 2,000 years, we find many answers to those big questions.  Some of those answers touch us today, many, many years after they were initially written.

"Ben (the son of) Zoma said:

Who is wise? He who learns from all people, as it is said: 'From all those who taught me I gained understanding' (Psalms 119:99).

Who is strong? He who conquers his evil inclination, as it is said: 'Better is one slow to anger than a strong man, and one who rules over his spirit than a conqueror of a city' (Proverbs 16:32).

Who is rich? He who is satisfied with his lot, as it is said: 'When you eat the toil of your hands you are fortunate and it is good for you' (Psalms 128:2). 'You are fortunate' -- in this world; 'and it is good for you' -- in the World to Come.

Who is honored? He who honors others, as it is said: 'For those who honor Me will I honor, and those who scorn Me will be degraded' (I Samuel 2:30)."
בן זומא אומר,

איזה הוא חכם--הלמד מכל אדם, שנאמר "מכל מלמדיי, השכלתי" (תהילים קיט,צט).  

איזה הוא גיבור--הכובש את יצרו, שנאמר "טוב ארך אפיים, מגיבור" (משלי טז,לב).

איזה הוא עשיר--השמח בחלקו, שנאמר "יגיע כפיך, כי תאכל; אשריך, וטוב לך" (תהילים קכח,ב):  "אשריך", בעולם הזה; "וטוב לך", לעולם הבא.  

איזה הוא מכובד--המכבד את הברייות, שנאמר "כי מכבדיי אכבד ובוזיי ייקלו" (שמואל א ב,ל).

Ben Zoma’s ideas are pretty powerful.  They are a radical redefinition of success.  Rather than wisdom only being about books, it is about human connection.  Talmud Kiddushin 40b shares a debate about which is greater, studying Torah or going out and living it?  Rabbi Akiva’s answer is that studying Torah is most important, since it leads to action, that if we regularly speak about the needs of the stranger, the widow and the orphan, we will actually take care of them!  

Strength is not the winner in a contest of armies or bodies, but self-control.  Strength is recognizing our faults and fixing them.  Strength is spending this holy time, these days of Awe, in tshuvah, in reparation, in tikkunim, corrections, improvements of our selves.

Wealth is not money.  It is not the size of our IRA or bank account.  I’m not saying money isn’t important.  It is important.  Without it we cannot eat, live, sleep.  Yet, money cannot and should not be the focus of ALL of our yearning.  Money can be an idol, rather than a tool.  In our community, we see people using their money to improve the lives of others through education, improve the lives of all of us through building Kol Yisrael, improving the opportunities of our own community through the donations that sustain Agudas Israel.  (Without you and without your money, we simply cannot exist.)  What Ben Zoma is saying is that if we are happy with what we have, we will be far more content.  It is a profound statement.  Like the most powerful truths it is not complicated.  It is simple.  It tells it like it is. If all we want is more, we will never be happy.  I know I am guilty of this.  I love watches.  I have a dozen of them.  I wear a different watch depending on my mood or to compliment my outfit.   After I get a new watch, I wear it regularly for awhile, trying it out and then it goes into the regular rotation, like all the others.  Once the novelty wears off, I wonder what might come next.  Yet, I’m getting bored.  No watch will ever satisfy a deep need, all it can do is tell time!

For many, happiness is the respect that others give.  Happiness is being recognized for our success.  Yet, Ben Zoma says that honor and respect are not what other people give to us, but what we give to others.  When we treat others with respect, when we recognize the spark of Divinity within each person, we can find a whole new level of respect in our own lives.  Treating other people better turns US into better people.  This applies not just for our family and friends (although many people do not show their family and friends nearly enough respect), but also to those who we actively dislike or those who we have power over.  Our character is reflected not in how we treat those upon whom we are dependent, but upon how we treat those who are dependent on us!

I opened with a song about finding our place in the world, finding the people and the places where we fit in.  For me, Agudas Israel has become a place like that, a place where I find comfort and connection, a place where I find holiness and love, happiness.

Since the Talmud was completed around 1500 years ago, there has been no index.  It was not until 2011, that a NYC lawyer, Daniel Retter, published in index of the 2711 pages of Talmud (of which I am studying a page a day).  Looking in the index, looking at the pages of Talmud, I found dozens of discussions on happiness and joy.  The Talmud teaches that meat and wine make for a joyful meal (Pesachim 71a); that studying Torah brings joy (Shabbat 30b), that doing mitzvot is a reward in itself, that earning a good reputation brings joy (Yevamot 16a), and of course, that one who is Happy with his lot, the powerful words of Ben Zoma in Pirkei Avot.

Yet amidst all of this joy, our texts tell us that joy, itself is not the goal of life.  In the next world we will be asked if we took advantage of the beauty of this world, saw Gd’s holy landscapes, if we tasted the (kosher) delights, yet simple happiness is not the only goal.

We were put on this Earth to serve Gd and each other.  We were placed on this planet as partners in creation.  This world is imperfect.  It was imperfect in the Torah and it is imperfect now.  There is violence, hatred, poverty, loss, and disease.  Yet for each one of these, we can make a difference.  We can bring peace to the world through our relationships with others.  We can bring love to the world through how we treat our family, friends and those we dislike.  We can reduce poverty through tzedekah, through government programs, and through changed attitudes.  We can reduce the pain of loss through faith and love.  We change the course of illness through medicine, research, vaccines and even prayer.

We were not placed on Earth to live alone.  We were placed on Earth to live in community.  As the fastest growing faith in America is NONE, the loss is not just for Gd, it is for every human being.  When we say that we can do it alone, we can live alone, without the support of a community, we are hurting ourselves and others.  When we return to synagogue, when we really become a part of the community, when we help each other, we find gifts we never knew could exist.

On Shabbat mornings, for those that come to the beginning of our service, we look at different rabbinic texts.   One of them comes from Talmud Sotah 14a

Rabbi Chama said in the name of Rabbi Chanina: “Follow Adonai your Gd” (Deuteronomy 13:5): What does this mean? Is it possible for a mortal to follow Gd’s presence? The verse means to teach us that we should follow the attributes of the holy One. As Gd clothes the naked, you should clothe the naked.  The Bible teaches that the Holy One visited the sick; you should visit the sick.  The Holy One comforted those who mourned; you should comfort those who mourn.  The Holy One buried the dead; you should bury the dead. (p.69 of Sim Shalom for Shabbat and Festivals, Rabbinical Assembly, 1998)

Rabbi Chama does not say that prayer is the only way to find Gd.  Rather he says, that there are a multitude of paths, to follow Gd.  Yet, allowing ourselves to be open to prayer certainly helps!  When Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, a legendary teacher at JTS before his untimely death, marched with Martin Luther King, Jr., fighting for Civil Rights in this country, he said that he was praying with his legs.  (But I can pretty much guarantee that he also put on Tefillin and davened Shacharit before that march.)  Prayer, study, lead us to holy action.  They lead us to fulfillment in life.

There is an old story about a grieving woman who remained at home and was very depressed.  She told visitors to go away and her family became very worried.  Finally, she let her rabbi visit. He told her the secret to grief was found in a home that knew no sorrow.  She must find that family and eat an apple from their garden.  She wandered around her village, her province, her country looking for this family.  As she explored the world, she spoke to people, heard their stories and offered comfort.  Eventually she realized that there was no family without loss,AND she was no longer depressed.  She found that her true purpose, what brought her life meaning was helping others through THEIR time of need.

The secret of happiness is through following the Divine, filling the Gd-shaped hole.  The secret of happiness is finding the sacred in your life.  The secret of happiness is helping others--whether your family, your friends, those you’ve never met or your community.

Rabbi Ed Feinstein, a prominent rabbi on the West Coast wrote about the pursuit of happiness.  He said that seeking only pleasure is doomed to fail, but if instead we “ walk the world seeking connection, attachment, relationship, intimacy” even “with all its heartache and frustration and pain, is to walk with God and to earn eternity.” He teaches that walking together, walking towards good, walking towards Gd will not only make us happier, it will fulfill us.

Today is the second day of Rosh Hashanah.  Next Shabbat will be Yom Kippur.  In between are the Aseret Yamei Tshuvah, the ten days of repentance.  But they are not just a time for us to repent to Gd or to others, they are a time for us to repent to ourselves.  We have missed many opportunities to make ourselves better.  Let’s begin working towards our best selves.  What I have discussed this morning are big steps, but there are many little steps along the way.  On Kol Nidre, I am going to speak about how we can change our lives, one step at a time.  I am going to speak about taking one moment a day to thank GD for the blessings around us.  That is one way to change your life.  Another is to spend these days in community and connection.  When you do something fun this week, invite a friend.  
Share your resources with those that need it.  Next year I want to give everyone a pushke, a tzedekah box, so you can put your pennies and dimes to work for the shul.  In the meantime, put your change in a jar, share it with the charity of your choice (or CAI).  (If you need some suggestions, let me know, I’ve got tons!)  
Share your mind, join a class here, help me start another study group; join one of our books clubs.  
Share your soul:  Come to minyan, start a meditation circle, find spiritual practices that will help you let Gd in.  Rabbi Feinstein says “This year, earn your immortality in the heart of community.”  What he means is that together we can do great things.  Together we can find the holiness in each other and connect to the Divine.  Together we can find the secret to happiness, which as we have seen, is not a secret at all.

Just by coming in today you are one step closer to Gd and to TRUE happiness.  You have found a corner of the sky, maybe it is yours!


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