Who hardened whose heart? And how do we soften our own?

Rabbi Philip Weintraub
Congregation Agudas Israel

1/17/2015

Exodus Chapter 7 (NJPS via jtsa.edu)

1 The Lord replied to Moses, "See, I place you in the role of God to Pharaoh, with your brother Aaron as your prophet. 2 You shall repeat all that I command you, and your brother Aaron shall speak to Pharaoh to let the Israelites depart from his land. 3 But I will harden Pharaoh's heart, that I may multiply My signs and marvels in the land of Egypt. 4 When Pharaoh does not heed you, I will lay My hand upon Egypt and deliver My ranks, My people the Israelites, from the land of Egypt with extraordinary chastisements. 5 And the Egyptians shall know that I am the Lord, when I stretch out My hand over Egypt and bring out the Israelites from their midst." 6 This Moses and Aaron did; as the Lord commanded them, so they did. 7 Moses was eighty years old and Aaron eighty-three, when they made their demand on Pharaoh.

This week we read of blood, of frogs, of insects, but to me the most fascinating part of the parsha is not the miracles, but the inner struggle.

וַאֲנִי אַקְשֶׁה, אֶת-לֵב פַּרְעֹה And I will harden Pharaoh's heart      ,

What is the psychological challenge of Pharaoh?  Did Gd harden Pharaoh’s heart or did Gd reinforce the decision that Pharaoh had already made?  Several times in the book of Exodus, it says that Moses or Gd hardened Pharaoh’s heart, yet in the book of Samuel, we read:

וְלָמָּה תְכַבְּדוּ אֶת-לְבַבְכֶם, כַּאֲשֶׁר כִּבְּדוּ מִצְרַיִם וּפַרְעֹה אֶת-לִבָּם:  הֲלוֹא כַּאֲשֶׁר הִתְעַלֵּל בָּהֶם, וַיְשַׁלְּחוּם וַיֵּלֵכוּ.

6 Wherefore then do ye harden your hearts, as the Egyptians and Pharaoh hardened their hearts? when He had wrought among them, did they not let the people go, and they departed?

Which is it?  Can it be both?  Can Gd have simply reinforced the decision of Pharaoh?  On a light-hearted note, I think of the kid’s song, “Little bunny foo foo”, who the fairy gave three chances to improve himself, yet he continued to make the same poor decisions!  Perhaps Gd worked in the same way, giving Pharaoh TEN opportunities to change his ways, yet each time, he did let our people go!

Pharaoh’s sin was not simply refusing GD or Moses.  His sin was in thinking that his hold on power was permanent.  His sin was in imaginging that there was no other way but the choices he had already made.  He could not imagine changing his mind.  The end of the Purim story has always surprised me.  The King does not rescind his order to kill the Jews.  Instead he orders the Jews be armed, that they may protect themselves from the evil onslaught.  His failure to rescind his order causes the needless suffering of many of his people.  And this sin remains today.

Many of us are unwilling to admit we are wrong.  We are unwilling to accept that we can change.  We have hardened our hearts with the wrong idea that the way it is today is the way it will be tomorrow.

As this week celebrates the achievements of Martin Luther King, Jr, I think about the ways that people in this country had hardened hearts.  For those of us who grew up in the South, we were sometimes taught that the Civil War was the end of racism, yet it does not take much to show that it did not end there. Nor did it end with MLK and the passage of the Civil Rights Act or Voting Rights Act.  Rather racism changed form and went underground.  While it is not socially acceptable to openly speak racist thoughts, Avenue Q taught us that “we’re all a little bit racist”, that many people harbor prejudice.  Recently books have come out talking about the “new Jim Crow”, how our justice and prison systems unfairly target those of color.  The “drug war” criminalizes “black” and “white” drugs in different ways, so that if I were to smoke something I shouldn’t (which I wouldn’t since I’m allergic to everything!), I would likely not be arrested or my charges would be dropped, yet if someone of color made the same choice, he or she might find him/herself locked in the prison system.  

Our country has hardened its heart against those that look different.  Yet the demographics of our country are changing.  It is less white than it has ever been.  And somewhere along the way, we Jews became white!  On a side note, as our brothers and sisters in France have discovered, that is not a universal statement!  There is closeted (and not so closeted) anti-semitism even here!  

One lesson of the plagues is that if we get uncomfortable enough, even the most hardened hearts can change.  Even Pharaoh, when the stakes were high enough let our people go.  What does it take for change in this country?  What would it look like to have a just society?

We do not understand the dangers that police navigate every single day.  Every day is another opportunity to protect and serve, but is another opportunity to be placed in a dangerous situation that is not always survivable.  When I can walk to and from synagogue to my home, I am appreciative of those who protect this community and make that walk safe.  Unfortunately, the laws that are enforced are not always just.  We must continue to work with our legislators, with our Congress, to ensure that ALL have opportunity in this country, that laws that unfairly target some are written out of the law books.  That is one way we soften our hearts.

We soften our hearts through suffering, through empathy, through seeing the challenges in our lives and those in our neighbors.  We soften our hearts through respect of those who protect us.  We soften our hearts through demanding equal rights for all.  Did you know that the Equal Rights Amendment has been brought to every  single Congress since 1982 and yet still has not become a constitutional amendment?!

Many times I have heard that if we could all unload our burdens, our challenges and place them on this bimah, given the opportunity to trade them, we would all take back our own challenges.  Our challenges are familiar, yet hopefully we use them to soften our hearts and not harden them.  I pray that we use our challenges to look around the room, to look around the world and find it in our hearts to simply be kind.  I pray that we find it in our hearts to be kind AND to do something.  Let us continue to work for a just world.  It does not happen overnight, but if we imagine the world as immutable, we make the same mistake that Pharaoh did.  We all have the capability to improve this world.  What are we doing?  Shabbat Shalom.

And the bush was not consumed. . .

Rabbi Philip Weintraub

Congregation Agudas Israel

January 10, 2015

Parshat Shemot

I think of the names that open this week’s parsha, this week’s book of the Torah, Shemot (in English Exodus), 1 “Jacob, each coming with his household: 2 Reuben, Simeon, Levi, and Judah; 3 Issachar, Zebulun, and Benjamin; 4 Dan and Naphtali, Gad and Asher. 5 The total number of persons that were of Jacob's issue came to seventy, Joseph being already in Egypt. “ Yet I also think of the names of those who were/are? hostages yesterday in Paris-- Shmuel Yitzchok Ben Sara, Zerya Bas Susan, Andra Bas Jusian and Mordechai Ben Maya. A six-month-old baby is in the store.  I think about the life of traditional Jews, of which I count myself.  Once the Shabbat candles are lit, there is no going to the store for a forgotten item.  If we need something Friday afternoon, there is a mad dash to the store, with an eye on the watch or the phone to ensure we get back in time.  With no kosher supermarket in Newburgh, my mad dash is to Pricechopper, which while owned by Jews and sells kosher food, is a giant supermarket.  The customers on a Friday afternoon could be absolutely anyone!  In Paris, at the Hyper Cacher kosher supermarket, that is likely not the case.  The customers are far more likely to be Jewish.  Earlier this week they came for the cartoonists (of which one of them was Jewish) and now they again came for the Jews.

Our parasha opens with the mention of those names and how quickly their achievements are forgotten by those in power.  Joseph’s ingenuity saved the Egyptian people and cemented Pharaoh’s hold on power, yet a generation or two later and this is no longer part of the Egyptian story.  Sometimes even the greatest achievement is not eternally remembered!  While this may sound tragic, it is only the beginning.  Pharaoh and his advisors turn the Israelites into slaves and eventually work towards genocidal plans.  By the time we get to our reading, two chapters later, Moses, saved by Pharaoh’s daughter (irony much?), is a shepherd outside the land. What we read today is inscribed on the building where I studied for so many years,

ב  וַיֵּרָא מַלְאַךְ יְ-ה אֵלָיו, בְּלַבַּת-אֵשׁ--מִתּוֹךְ הַסְּנֶה; וַיַּרְא, וְהִנֵּה הַסְּנֶה בֹּעֵר בָּאֵשׁ, וְהַסְּנֶה, אֵינֶנּוּ אֻכָּל.

2 And the angel of the L-ORD appeared unto him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush; and he looked, and, behold, the bush burned with fire, and the bush was not consumed.

That phrase has been an inspiration to many.  It has been a light in dark times, a beacon of hope. As I heard that the hostages in Paris were freed, that some of those innocent shoppers were safe, I thought of this verse.

וְהַסְּנֶה, אֵינֶנּוּ אֻכָּל

What does it mean to burn yet not be consumed?  WE burn with the fire of outrage at those who think violence is the solution to all their problems.  We burn with the fire of hope that one day we will truly see peace.  We burn with the light of Torah, that leads us to holier, more meaningful lives. We may even burn with passion towards those we love or even for issues we care about--yet we must be careful not to be consumed and negate our selves.

For those who use terror, they are bushes who HAVE been consumed.  They have sacrificed self in their quest for a world where all look like themselves.  In response, many in history have been consumed with revenge.

So how do we live with fire, live with passion, live with energy, yet prevent ourselves from being totally consumed by these energies?

Even as we saw those who saw themselves as faithful commit acts of horrendous violence, in many cases, faith can keep us from making poor or evil choices.  Faith reminds us of the humanity of one another.  Our Torah teaches that ALL were created in the Divine image.

We can all see examples of those whose quest for mitzvot leaves them abandoning some of their love for others, but are Torah teaches also of the important of mitzvot ben adam l’havero, between one person and another.  The first question asked in heaven is “Were we honest in business?”--do we treat people fairly, honestly, appropriately? In this way, we see that passion for business is great, but the passion must be applied carefully, that we know when our efforts are legal and when they are not.

I need not give examples from personal relationships, but we can all think of personal experiences or ones whom we love who had passionate relationships that completely flamed out.  They lost their sense of self and were left brokenhearted.  Fire is great, but it must be carefully tended to burn for the long term.

The same is true in our daily lives.  We have to ensure that the work we do is sustainable, that we make ourselves sustainable.  If our focus is so singular, so particular, we may lose ourselves.  Passion, fire, is key, but it cannot be the only metric by which we live our lives.  If so, we may find ourselves burned out, lost, overwhelmed.

A life of passion can be a powerful one, yet we must guard ourselves from putting out the fire or pouring lighter fluid on it!

After shul today we will discuss matters of life and death, issues that oertain to us all. At this moment, I want to ask us all to say “Baruch Atah Adoshem Elokeinu Melech Haolam, Matir Asurim” Praise are you, Holy One, ruler of space and time who frees the captive.  May those who survived their captivity fight PTSD, discover reserves of strength and live full lives.  May those who did not survive see their souls rise to heaven, may their memory be a blessing.  Shabbat Shalom.

Tsurris and joy

Looking at the world today can give you a heart attack.  A close friend is in Paris, where Muslim terrorists massacred a dozen reporters and writers for a satirical newspaper.  Here in Newburgh, we celebrate a year with only one murder--but almost 50 people shot. In west Africa, Ebola still rages, yet it is no longer daily news.  In the Middle East, Palestinian leader Abbas seems to be joining the ICC, in hopes of causing turmoil within Israeli leadership, but not sure how that will lead to any semblance of peace.  Saudi Arabian airlines announces gender separation options, to ensure that no man has to sit next to another man’s wife.  A transgender teen committed suicide when her family did not accept her.

On a lighter note, also in the Middle East, snow paralyzes parts of Israel. Weather that in the Hudson Valley would keep a few people home, keeps many more home. Stores ran out of produce, milk and bread in Jerusalem!  In Las Vegas, the International Consumer Electronics Show demonstrates thousands of products to connect us in more ways to the internet.  Not sure if that is good or bad, but we saw in the last few weeks that anything with an internet connection can be hacked--so hopefully they add some security to these products.

Here at home, we had dinner last night with lovely congregants.  Showing that kosher means delicious, we had an amazing meal and “a show” led by my daughter.  Sitting with them was a joy and a reminder of the holy work that we do together.  Tonight we will meet again to discuss membership in our community.

That last topic is a sensitive one for rabbis.  For many years, the measure of a rabbi, was the size of his congregation.  Success or failure was entirely dependent on the numbers.  While numbers are important--as anyone balancing a budget knows, numbers do not tell the whole picture.  Synagogues are about community.  They are about love.  They are about sanctity.  We can reach people’s souls even when we do not reach their wallets!

We live in a time of declining affiliation everywhere.  As one of my businessman/teacher/member reminded me, the only business that you have responsibility for is your own!  The future of our community is dependent on its members valuing it and supporting it.  Like every organization, we must continue to fund-raise--but also work to soul-raise.  We must continue to offer services and programs and opportunities that fulfill our mission of being a caring, sacred community. We must continue to work on emphasizing why what we do is important--the what will follow.

I am a member of CAI because of the personal connections, the sacred connections and the joy I have found here. What would bring you here?

With the internet, rabbis reach people and connect them to communities regardless of location.  Yet, the majority of work is local and organic.  Helping one family discover the blessings of kashrut.  Showing two members their commonality.  Energizing people in their observance of mitzvot and most powerfully living prayer--showing that we can change our hearts and our souls when we work together and reach out to the Divine.

For the first time that I can remember, we did not have a minyan last Shabbat--yet we still had a joyful experience.  Together we spoke of topics sacred and more ordinary, offered the words of our heart to the Holy One and found the blessings in our daily lives.  This week we have a minyan in the evening and the morning.  We will sing, we will celebrate.  The warmth of our hearts and souls will counter the frigid air outside.

Lo alecha hamlacha ligmor...we are not obligated to finish the task, but we MUST work on it nonetheless.  We must remind people that without a spiritual home, there is a hole in their hearts and souls.  We must remind people that without a community, they are missing the holy task of connection.  Our very relationships and family structures depend on it.  Our partners may complete us, but they cannot fulfill our every need, for that, we need a community!

Tsurris (problems) and joy are not independent but interdependent. We cannot fully celebrate without having overcome tragedy. We cannot fully mourn without knowing, as the psalmist says that "Joy comes in the morning", that another day can bring blessing.

We cannot solve every problem in the world, but when we see the joy a small child can bring, we recognize that we must try.  If we want our children to live in a better, more peaceful world, we have a lot of work to do--at home, in our communities and around the world.  What will you do?

The Talmud teaches that to save one life is to save an entire world!  Let’s get started.

January bulletin

Dear CAI,

December at CAI was pretty amazing.  Taking Hanukkah on the road, I saw some of our friends in Florida-thanks to my wonderful in-laws, Paul and Barbara Schwartz for hosting in DelRay Beach!  I took the giant Hanukkiah to “the Heights”, Balmville, CAI, Fishkill, New Windsor and Cornwall.  All along the way I saw the smiles and sang with friends old and new.  I have deep appreciation to Jack Dabrusin for the use of his truck and Klaus Solomon, Jack Dabrusin and Frank Wolf for their expert plans and execution turning a giant stationary menorah into a portable one!

As I spoke on Hanukkah--and at our very successful Hanukkah Shabbat dinner--what we think about Hanukkah depends on our perspectives.  To me, Hanukkah is about bringing OUR holy light into the world.  It is about bringing our unique Jewish spirit, into our homes, into our hearts, and even into the public square.  As Jews, we have something special to offer the world.  We cannot forget that.

To help us better understand our future, sometimes we have to look into the past.  At the end of this month, we will begin a series of evenings discussing Jewish history.  By looking at some of the major texts of our history, we can better plan for our next 5000 years!

As always, peace in our world seems precarious.  Yet, here at CAI, in Newburgh, we find a little oasis.  In all that I do, I try to help us spread that oasis, expand our circles of peace into the world around us.  We begin by working towards peace in our homes and relationships, spread outside our families into our friends and broader Jewish Communities.  From there we can work with our city, county, state, country and beyond.  The lesson of Hanukkah is that one little light can illuminate not just the darkness, but the world.  What are you doing to spread the light?  Come visit us and find out!

As I said in December: Whatever you are doing this month, keep CAI in mind.  We always have you in our hearts!  Wishing you a warm heart--even if the outside may be a little chilly!  Join me for coffee and let’s dream together.  Our new building demonstrates what Herzl said about the nation of Israel, “If you will it, it is no dream!”

This is Where I Leave You--Parshat Vayechi 2015

Rabbi Philip Weintraub

Congregation Agudas Israel

1/3/2015

Parshat Vayechi

The first significant word of our parsha is “Vayechi” and he live, “Jacob lived seventeen years in the land of Egypt, so that the span of Jacob's life came to one hundred and forty-seven years.”  He asks his sons to affirm that he will be buried in his native land--a promise which means that Joseph will temporarily leave his high position in Egypt to go home to Israel and bury his father!  Once they swear this to him, he takes to his bed and his sons come to him for individual blessings.  Unlike his father’s before him, he does not restrict his blessings to a single son, rather, each one gets an individual blessing, one that speaks to his needs, his talents, his abilities, his future.

Some of the blessings are quite positive, like Judah’s and Naftali’s.  Others are more nuanced, while some, like Reuven’s do not seem like blessings at all!  Before the blessings even began, we first had instruction, teaching, a demand that his burial should be traditional, and this promise returns at the end of the blessing.  

In some ways, this blessing might be seen as an ethical will.  As much as it divides the sons, it offers a vision for a unifying future.  All of them will have a role as leaders of tribes; all of these tribes will be essential to the future of Israel and Judaism.

Do we talk about our families in the same way?  Do we talk about our desires the same way?

Rebecca and I just watched This is Where I Leave You, a movie based on the book by Jonathan Tropper.  In it, many famous actors and actresses portray the four siblings and assorted spouses/significant others who come together to observe the last wish of their father, to sit shiva together, in one house, under one roof, for the entire week.  The antics, language and sex (they must have missed that memo) aside, the relationships were fascinating.  While making our ancestors in Genesis seem polite, the dynamics were very powerful.  How do our relationships with our siblings change over the years?  Do we ever grow up when we return to our parents’ homes?  What happens when our parents’ die?

Without giving away the movie, it made for an interesting conversation in our house!

Returning to our parsha, I think about the lives we lead today?  How do we talk to the members of our family?  Do our children know how we feel about Jewish values? About end of life care?

Spending time in the hospital, I meet people with all different types of backgrounds, yet the big problem in many situations is communication.  We are afraid of big questions!  We are afraid to talk about death.  We are afraid to talk about how we want our lives to end?  

What is a good death?  Is that dying in our sleep at home?  Is it sudden?  Is it slow?  Do we want to know about it in advance and give a blessing to each of our children?

One lesson of Jacob is that we can never truly know the moment of our death.  Blessing his sons, he believes he will die and he does, but what if he didn’t have that premonition? Would he have been able to give them those wise words?

All of this seems particularly appropriate this week.  Closing the book of Genesis, closing and beginning a new year, we reflect on what has been and what will be.  As we look to the new year, I hope that we can continue to talk about the big issues.  What drives us? How is Gd a part of our lives?  How do we live ethical, meaningful, Jewish lives?  At the end of the day, conversation, communication is the center to these issues.  We just have to talk more--with ourselves, with our loved ones and with our community here.  Let’s continue the conversation at Kiddush--and next week over Shabbat dinner AND over cake when we have a mini-death cafe!

Shabbat Shalom!

Links:
http://thisiswhereileaveyou.com/

http://deathcafe.com/