Rabbi Philip Weintraub
Congregation Agudas Israel
1/3/2015
Parshat Vayechi
The first significant word of our parsha is “Vayechi” and he live, “Jacob lived seventeen years in the land of Egypt, so that the span of Jacob's life came to one hundred and forty-seven years.” He asks his sons to affirm that he will be buried in his native land--a promise which means that Joseph will temporarily leave his high position in Egypt to go home to Israel and bury his father! Once they swear this to him, he takes to his bed and his sons come to him for individual blessings. Unlike his father’s before him, he does not restrict his blessings to a single son, rather, each one gets an individual blessing, one that speaks to his needs, his talents, his abilities, his future.
Some of the blessings are quite positive, like Judah’s and Naftali’s. Others are more nuanced, while some, like Reuven’s do not seem like blessings at all! Before the blessings even began, we first had instruction, teaching, a demand that his burial should be traditional, and this promise returns at the end of the blessing.
In some ways, this blessing might be seen as an ethical will. As much as it divides the sons, it offers a vision for a unifying future. All of them will have a role as leaders of tribes; all of these tribes will be essential to the future of Israel and Judaism.
Do we talk about our families in the same way? Do we talk about our desires the same way?
Rebecca and I just watched This is Where I Leave You, a movie based on the book by Jonathan Tropper. In it, many famous actors and actresses portray the four siblings and assorted spouses/significant others who come together to observe the last wish of their father, to sit shiva together, in one house, under one roof, for the entire week. The antics, language and sex (they must have missed that memo) aside, the relationships were fascinating. While making our ancestors in Genesis seem polite, the dynamics were very powerful. How do our relationships with our siblings change over the years? Do we ever grow up when we return to our parents’ homes? What happens when our parents’ die?
Without giving away the movie, it made for an interesting conversation in our house!
Returning to our parsha, I think about the lives we lead today? How do we talk to the members of our family? Do our children know how we feel about Jewish values? About end of life care?
Spending time in the hospital, I meet people with all different types of backgrounds, yet the big problem in many situations is communication. We are afraid of big questions! We are afraid to talk about death. We are afraid to talk about how we want our lives to end?
What is a good death? Is that dying in our sleep at home? Is it sudden? Is it slow? Do we want to know about it in advance and give a blessing to each of our children?
One lesson of Jacob is that we can never truly know the moment of our death. Blessing his sons, he believes he will die and he does, but what if he didn’t have that premonition? Would he have been able to give them those wise words?
All of this seems particularly appropriate this week. Closing the book of Genesis, closing and beginning a new year, we reflect on what has been and what will be. As we look to the new year, I hope that we can continue to talk about the big issues. What drives us? How is Gd a part of our lives? How do we live ethical, meaningful, Jewish lives? At the end of the day, conversation, communication is the center to these issues. We just have to talk more--with ourselves, with our loved ones and with our community here. Let’s continue the conversation at Kiddush--and next week over Shabbat dinner AND over cake when we have a mini-death cafe!
Shabbat Shalom!
Links:
http://thisiswhereileaveyou.com/
http://deathcafe.com/
No comments:
Post a Comment