Elul Day 3--a Bar Mitzvah Video goes Viral and many cringe (but should they?)

Around the web this week have been discussions of Bar Mitzvah videos.

See this link for an example:
http://www.tabletmag.com/scroll/140726/the-evolution-of-the-bar-mitzvah-dance-video

Many looking at this video see it as over the top.  They complain of the money wasted on it, the seemingly outrageous idea of hiring professional dancers in skimpy outfit, and the lack of Jewish content.  I guess they didn't see the pre-Bar Mitzvah video--the second video on the page.  That one included friends and family, kippot, studying? his parsha, and perhaps his rabbi (or at least some shots in the shul--with the family's name on the donation wall).

As we enter Elul, it is appropriate for us to consider the words that come out of our mouths, the thoughts we choose to share with others in line, online, or anywhere.  Whether we speak, type, sign or otherwise communicate, what we share with others is a reflection of our values.  If we choose to berate 13 year olds and their values publicly, what does that say about us?

There is a classic story of an individual who comes to the rabbi after sharing a rumor about someone.  The rabbi says the person should empty a feather pillow on top of a mountain on a windy day and then come back to the rabbi's office the following day.  The next day the individual returns and the rabbis says go back to the mountain and collect all of the feathers.  The individual says that is impossible!  They have been dispersed throughout the village.  The rabbi says--yes that is the danger of speaking.  Our words can spread farther than we ever imagined.

Today that is more true than ever.  One blog can be shared and re-shared, tweeted and retweeted until it goes as viral as the video above.  Rather than seeing the internet as a way to write more and more nonsense, we must see it as a place to spread more and more holiness, kindness and love.

Yet if we do NOT speak, what does that say about us?  As Jews we are commanded not to stand idly by. We are supposed to warn/stop/prevent evil or bad behavior by our friends and compatriots. Yet, to give effective warnings and criticisms, we must know the individual and care for them.

Is this video over the top?  Of course it is.  Does it reflect what I hope for my daughter's Bat Mitzvah?  No, it does not.  I would much rather see a video of this young man's charitable works, how he volunteers his free time, how he uses his (clearly) tremendous financial resources to do good, and finally, how he studies and lives Torah.

At the end of the day though, he is a kid and none of this happened entirely through his own will or resources.  His parents participated and funded it.  Most importantly, they felt that his Jewish identity was important enough to celebrate his becoming a Bar Mitzvah.  While it may be over the top, he and his family are clearly members of a Jewish community and supporters of a congregation (see their name on the wall in the second video).  That in itself is a great mitzvah.

How do you celebrate your Jewish identity?
Do you make a viral video?
Do you speak kindly or rudely to the efforts of others?  

As we approach Rosh Hashanah, let us consider not only how we speak, but to whom we speak, where we speak and what the next person will say.  The Chafetz Chaim, the master teacher on the laws of speech tells us we should not even speak positively about someone in the presence of that person's enemy, since we will be facilitating lashon hara!  (Ie no "Bush is the best president ever" at the DNC convention or "Obama is awesome" at a Tea Party event.)