For eighteen days, we waited. We prayed. We hoped. We sent good vibes into the universe. Then the news came out. They were gone, killed almost immediately after they had been kidnapped. Eyal Yifrach (19), Gil-ad Shaar (16) and Naftali Fraenkel (16) were gone from this world far too quickly. In the words of Israeli president Shimon Peres:
We prayed, each of us alone and all of us together, for a miracle. We prayed that that we will see them return in peace to the families, to their homes and to us all. Sadly we were hit by the tragedy of their murder and a deep grief enveloped our people.
Some see the tragedy as a failure of prayer. Yet this is not the case. Our prayers did great good for the world and for ourselves. In the words of Rabbi Mark Greenspan:
I am reminded of the discussion in the Talmud. If one sees smoke arising from the vicinity of one's home, one should not prayer that one's house not be on fire. Similarly, if one is already pregnant, one should not pray that the child be one sex or the other. In both matters, one should not pray to change what has already taken place.
Still, I believe that our prayer made a difference. Our prayers did not save our boys but they brought us closer together. Our prayers gave us strength in the face of despair and horror. Our prayers reminded us that we share a common destiny as a people. Even when we cannot change what has happened, our prayers remind us that we are not alone; God is with us. Our prayers remind us of our own humanity. Rather than cursing the inhumanity and cruelty of the abductors, our heartfelt prayers reminded us to affirm our concern for life.
Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, secular, Haredi--Israelis and Jews across the world stood shoulder to shoulder and cried out to the Holy One. Whether praying for Divine intervention or for the strength to hold ourselves up in the face of tragedy, we came together. That spirit of unity is far too rare in the Jewish world. Normally, our religious differences, our debates over kashrut or tefillah or nusach or the relative importance of work or study divide us. Here, we were united. Here, we stood together.
The challenge will be the next weeks and months. How do we respond? Do we let this hateful act create further division in the middle east or can it somehow be leveraged for a new peace effort? Does the hateful acts of a few stop the olive branch of others? Are the terrorists who captured and killed these boys representatives of Hamas or radicals? Can there truly be peace with a PA government that shares power with Hamas? Will Hamas TRULY work towards peace or continue its charter’s preamble: ″Israel will exist and will continue to exist until Islam will obliterate it, just as it obliterated others before it″ (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamas_Covenant)
Yet there are some who react horribly. If it is true that a Palestinian boy was kidnapped and killed in response, I join the Fraenkel family in saying that is disgusting and NOT done in our name, not done with Jewish values. Vigilantism and revenge are not Jewish values. http://www.jpost.com/Breaking-News/Fraenkel-family-on-Arab-youth-found-dead-No-difference-between-blood-and-blood-361246
I do not have answers to those questions. I wish I did. I might wish that my ordination as a rabbi granted me a spirit of navua, of prophecy, that would allow me to answer these questions. So far, that has not happened--maybe that comes after a few more years! Yet, as we see in the actual prophets, that responsibility is great and terrible--so much so that virtually all of the real prophets as Gd not to give them that responsibility.
I wish that I could wave a magic wand and help Palestinians and Arabs realize that the only way for peace is for us to co-exist. I wish I could stop Jews and Israelis who cultivate violence. I wish there was no truth in articles like these http://www.al-monitor.com/pulse/originals/2014/06/palestine-hamas-summer-camps-ideology.html that Hamas’ summer camps train the next generation of children to hate. I thought camp was supposed to be about teaching religious values, of love, of support, of respect. ie
http://www.tabletmag.com/jewish-life-and-religion/176066/summer-camp-jewish-friendship Of creating menschligkeit http://www.kveller.com/preschooler/behavior-and-discipline/Raising_a_Mentsch.shtml
From Rabbi Charles Sherman of Syracuse:
A LESSON TO THE WORLD
I remember when Elie Wiesel, who certainly knows something about the consequences of evil, visited my synagogue, just hours after receiving the Nobel Peace Prize., June 14, 1987. In his talk, he used an image that has stayed with me all these years. He said that Jews are the "canaries of the world." His illusion was that of miners from long ago, who, legend has it, would descend into the cold, damp, dark, dangerous mine, bringing with them a caged canary. The tiny birds are sensitive to toxic fumes. As long as the bird kept singing, the miners were safe. When the canary stopped singing, it was time to ascend. The miners had limited education. But they understood this important truth. What happened to those sweet, innocent birds, was a harbinger of what would happen to them. The fate of the birds was their very own fate. There are different ways to think about the heinous killing of those three young teenagers, Naftali Frankel, Gilad Sha'ar, Eyal Yifrach. We think about what these young men might have become, had they been able to live out their lives. We think about the pain that their parents, grandparents, siblings are experiencing, and will experience for the rest of their lives. And for those of us who are Jews, it is very personal. Because these young men were killed for no other reason than the fact they were Jews. Early morning, as usual, I sat at the kitchen table with our newspaper, and had to turn quite a few pages before I found an article about the slain boys. It didn't seem important enough to our newspaper. And I have to believe it does not seem important enough to a lot of the world, that three Jewish kids were gunned down in cold blood. If there is one lesson, Jews have taught the world, it is this: When it becomes open season to hunt down Jews all good people are in danger. How many more wake up calls does Western Civilization require? Most national anthems are rooted in brashness, battles and victory; bombs bursting in air. I have always been impressed by the National Anthem of the Jewish People, Hatikva, "The Hope." We know this truth, "they who plant in sorrow, will surely one day reap in joy."
So where do we go from here!? How do we pray? How do we love? How do we hope for peace?
The answer is normalcy. Like after every loss in the Jewish world, after the loss of a family member, we sit shiva. We take time to reflect. After a few days, we get up from our mourning and begin our lives. We say kaddish regularly. We give tzedekah in their memory. We live our lives.
The last couple days I have spent more time in study, more time sharing on facebook and lots more time with my wife and daughter. We went out for ice cream. We went swimming together. A summer afternoon out of the office is not a loss for the shul. Meeting congregants on the street, in their backyard pools is a blessing for me, for my family and a reminder of the Jewish values we try to live. At the end of the day, Gd, Torah and Israel remind us that the family unit is the core. It is the basis for all we do. Shabbat, Festivals, life have components at shul, but they also have component at home. We must hug our children tighter. We must spend time with them. We must live our lives. That is how we build a future.
To send a message to the families of those who were killed:
This is not my normal style of writing. Normally I like to edit, to be more concise. Today I am filled with a shefa, an overflowing fountain, of grief, of love, of words. Maybe these words will help someone besides me.
