What does it take to change the path of someone’s life? Can a chance interaction change the world or your life?
Looking at this week’s parsha, we see this happen explicitly. Jacob makes what seems like an absolutely terrible decision. He sends his self-centered, egotistical son, Yosef out to look for his brothers. Yosef/Joseph has been spoiled rotten by Jacob, built up his ego through his dreams of lording over his brothers and made the tragic mistake of sharing his conceit with them! As Joseph goes along his way, he meets an unnamed man.
Genesis 37
14 And he said to him, "Go and see how your brothers are and how the flocks are faring, and bring me back word." So he sent him from the valley of Hebron. When he reached Shechem, 15 a man came upon him wandering in the fields. The man asked him, "What arc you looking for?" 16 He answered, "I am looking for my brothers. Could you tell me where they are pasturing?" 17 The man said, "They have gone from here, for I heard them say: Let us go to Dothan." So Joseph followed his brothers and found them at Dothan.
The commentators wonder about the man’s identity, wondering if he is an angel, setting in motion everything that comes afterwards. Just think, if Joseph hadn’t found his brothers, he might have gone home. He wouldn’t have been captured and thrown in a pit. He wouldn’t have been threatened with death. He wouldn’t have been sold into slavery, found himself in Potiphar’s house, or prison or into Pharoah’s court. There would be no success in Egypt and no slavery. There would be no escaping slavery, no wandering in the desert, perhaps even no Torah?! All because of a chance encounter.
Looking online for other such examples, I found thousands of results. I discovered the story of Sir Nicholas Winton, a London (Jewish) stockbroker who helped rescue 669 children on the eve of WWII by bringing them to the UK.
Winton's story begins in 1938 in London, where he was a 29-year-old stockbroker enjoying the good life. The son of German-Jewish immigrants, he had been following the rise of Hitler and the Nazis and knew they were on the march. He was convinced war was imminent. Hitler's troops had just marched into Czechoslovakia and occupied the region known as the Sudetenland, creating the war's first refugee crisis. At least 150,000 people had fled to makeshift refugee camps that sprang up around Prague. The conditions they faced were dire.
When a friend suggested that Winton cancel his annual ski trip and join him in Prague to see what was going on, Winton decided to use his vacation days and go. The situation he encountered was desperate. Efforts by organizations trying to help refugees were hampered by the fact that most countries in Europe weren't willing to take them in. Winton also told us he wrote to President Roosevelt asking the U.S. to receive them, to no avail.
Parents were frantically trying to get their children out, so Winton decided to focus his efforts on helping those children. He had no background or experience in dealing with refugees, but was about to take on the Nazis and the British bureaucracy in a remarkable feat of skill, determination and cunning. During the few days he was in Prague, Winton laid the groundwork for an organization to transport children to Britain on trains. He identified people willing to help, met with parents determined to get their children out, and started making lists of children whose parents wanted them to go.
When he returned to London, he set up a fake organization, appointed himself chairman, put his mother to work running a small office, and began negotiations with the British government for permission to bring unaccompanied minors into England. Meanwhile, he looked for families to take them in. He raised money, paid bribes, procured transit papers and, when necessary, forged documents. When Bob Simon asked him about all of that he was unapologetic -- saying simply, "It worked." http://www.cbsnews.com/news/proof-that-one-person-can-make-a-difference/
We can think of Steve Jobs, Jonas Salk, Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, who took what they saw around them and revolutionized the world. Yet they did not work in a vacuum. They had great ideas, but worked with others, built on the ideas of others. There are a million unnamed individuals who helped them along the way.
Thinking about my life, I can think of many moments when the right encounter makes a difference. I think back to being five years old and being asked to read the Song for Shabbat at Friday night services--giving me a role in our tradition. Or when I was asked to lead services as a teenager, giving me ownership in my Jewish education. I think about my Talmud hevruta, Rabbi Eve Eichenholtz, who made sure that I met Rebecca at Simchat Torah at JTS. She also gave Rebecca a place to stay for Shabbat and helped arrange our “first date”. Without those encounters, I would not be where I am today. In your lives, think about how you met important people in your life. How many of those interactions were planned or depended upon others? How did a chance encounter turn into a lifelong friendship or relationship? Think about camp or college, places where prolonged contact encourages deep and lifelong friendships.
When I do chaplaincy, I cannot tell you how often I walk into the room and someone says “Chaplain-Thank Gd you are here. I just heard xyz and I don’t know what to do.” (There are lots of visits that are far more boring, but quite a few feel life-changing.)
I also think about moments of kindness. The simplest things, the smallest gestures can change someone’s life. You don’t know where someone’s mind is. By offering someone a tissue, a dollar, a meal at the right moment, you can help walk them off a ledge, or inspire them to a new idea. For Dear Abby and some others, seeing a penny on the ground with a family member’s birth year can be a sign from heaven, a moment of comfort in a challenging world.
In your siddur, on p. 69, the text at the top of the page, Sukkah 49b opens with some very powerful words--I’ll read them so you don’t have to open your books yet.
וא"ר אלעזר
כל העושה צדקה ומשפט כאילו מילא כל העולם כולו חסד שנאמר (תהלים לג, ה) אוהב צדקה ומשפט חסד ה' מלאה הארץ
Rabbi Elazar said: Whoever does deeds of charity and justice is considered as having filled the world with loving-kindness, as it is written: “Gd loves charity and justice; the earth is filled with Hashem’s loving-kindness” (Psalm 33:5)
( Siddur Sim Shalom for Shabbat and Festivals, 1998, p. 69)
We cannot always know the impact of our choices, but our choices have impact. We can be cynical, imagining we have no control over the world, yet we do. In our crazy country, we talk about elections more than we talk about governing. This is a consequence of our actions and our choices, yet there are tremendous consequences in our choice of politicians. The next president will likely choose some new supreme court justices--that alone is a reason to vote! We have a long time before we need to make these choices, but we must. We may be one in three hundred and seventeen million people in this country, but many of them do not vote. It is our civic and human responsibility. Abdicating our responsibility is a grace choice with grave consequences! So a year early, I tell you, don’t forget to vote.
Again, on a personal level, we cannot forget the impact we have. There are teachers in my life at every level who inspired me to continue and excel in my studies. There are friends and family and neighbors who helped me discover the rabbinate. Each and every one of you allows me and pushes me to do the work that I do. How are you helping your friends, your family, your neighbors? How are you lending a helping hand? How are you filling the world with righteousness and loving-kindness? The unnamed man is Parshat Vayeshev reminds us that every interaction is an opened door, which can lead us to uncharted waters, but if we do not reach out, we shut those doors. As we look into the week to come, what doors will you open?
Shabbat Shalom!
