Memorial Day, Yom Hazikaron and Yizkor--inspired by Rabbi Mark Greenspan

Rabbi Philip Weintraub

Congregation Agudas Israel

Shavuot May 2015

Pablo Picasso once was quoted as saying “Good artists copy, great artists steal.”  In my writing and speaking, I am always looking to share brilliant ideas with you.  I try to make connections between our holy texts, our day to day lives, and everything in between.  One rabbi I mention regularly, is my in-law’s rabbi, Mark Greenspan of the Oceanside Jewish Center.  This week he wrote about the connections between Shavuot’s Yizkor, American Memorial Day, and Yom HaZikaron (Israel’s Memorial Day).  Without stealing his text, I am stealing his idea, but I might have gotten there anyway on my own!

Only a few days ago, Israel observed its Memorial Day, Yom Hazikaron.  At 7PM as the holiday began, sirens were sounded throughout the country and everyone paused to remember.  Again, the next morning at 11AM, the sirens sounded again and the entire country temporarily ground to a halt.  On the radio, sad music played.  Rabbi Greenspan shared the words of Naomi Ragen:

“Remembrance Day in Israel is like nothing else, I dare say, anywhere in the world. The country simply shuts down all distractions. Restaurants, bars, and discos close down. Radio and television channels spend the day telling the stories of the fallen, showing old pictures and new videos of soldiers who died five months or thirty years ago. The programs emphasize the same thing: the person’s childhood, home, his parents,  his wife or girlfriend…for one day, every single person in Israel who identifies with the Jewish state and the lives of the people who live here feel these men and women are part of their own past, their own family.”

It is a day unlike any other.  Of course, at the end of the day, Yom Ha’atzmaut begins, and just like the Psalmist says, the mourning is turned to dancing.  The BBQs are lit and there is dancing in the street.  There is a visceral transition as people go from remembering their loved ones to realizing that those sacrifices gave (re-)birth to their nation.

In our own country, Memorial Day is a less remembered affair.  With the JWV, we planted flags in our cemetery on Friday morning.  There are parades and speeches, but most people see it as a day for a BBQ, a day off from work announcing the beginning of summer or even a day to buy a new car or grill.  While its origins from the Civil War, renewed after WWI hoped for a day of solemnity, it has become more festive than is likely ideal.

Returning to the Jewish calendar, we observe Yizkor on Yom Kippur, Shmini Atzeret, Pesach and Shavuot.  We remember our loved ones, the gift of their lives and the memories that are in our hearts and souls.  It is not a memorial day just for soldiers, but for the soldiers of life--all of us who fight daily battles to celebrate and contemplate each day.  It is for children and parents, grandparents and siblings, spouses and other loved ones.  For many, it is also the day we remember the Shoah.  Rabbi Greenspan shared the words of Rabbi Reuven Hammer on the origins of Yizkor:

Originally, Yizkor was quite different. Rabbi Reuven Hammer writes:  “Yizkor appears first during the Middle Ages in Europe, where it was recited on Yom Kippur in order to remember the martyrs slain during the Crusades. Such a memorial list was recited in Nuremberg in 1295, and the custom soon spread. Later, the practice began of saying it on the festivals as well…” There was nothing generic about the original Yizkor service. In the generations following the crusades every family knew someone or some community that was destroyed by the crusaders – Yizkor was an opportunity to remember these people. Over time the connection was lost so that Yizkor became about each generation's loved ones.

Rabbi Greenspan continues

At the heart of Yizkor is one thing: tzedakah. Yizkor is not an exercise of simply remembering but a challenge to act on our memories. In reciting the Yizkor prayer one makes an oath to give charity in memory of loved ones. Tzedakah is an act of redemption. It is an attempt to keep a person’s memory alive through good deeds. The Book of Proverbs states, Tzedakah tatzil mimavet, “Charity has the power to save a person from death.” This verse has several meanings. First, charity literally saves lives because it provides for those in need and saves them from starvation. Second, it can save us from spiritual death by investing our lives with meaning and purpose. Finally, charity saves the dead from oblivion by allowing us to keep their memory alive through good deeds.

With Yizkor’s focus on tzedekah, we really show how we commemorate the one’s we love.  By giving of ourselves in their name, we believe we help them in the world to come.  Yet in this way, we also keep them alive in our hearts and in this world.  If we support their causes, we are truly honoring their memories.

At the end of the day, each of these days that almost merge today are deeply personal.  While the national and the religious components remain, we cannot abandon the individual connection.  These moments are moments FOR US.  They are times FOR US to consider our connections.  

In my own life, I see these challenges personally.  Having recently experienced the loss of a relative I did not know well, I feel the loss of missed opportunity.  Thinking about our miscarriage last summer, I have the loss of a child who I did not get to know.  In both of these cases, grieving gets more complicated.  We mourn not only what was, but what could be.  We mourn the future, the loss that we can just barely comprehend.  Whether in these specific losses, the challenge is not the past, but the future.  We wish that we could share our children with our parents, grandparents, great-grandparents.  We wish they would have the same connections that we do, yet in these moments we see what is missing.

At the same time, coming together, we see what remains.  We see the loved ones in these rooms.  We see the people we have grown up with, grown older with, the Jewish connections that we have built over a lifetime.  We remember those who are not with us, but we gain the support of those who are here.  As we prepare for Yizkor, look around the room, share a smile, a word of kindness with your neighbors.  Chag Sameach.