A Feminist perspective on Matot/Masei?

In this week’s Parsha, Matot/Masei we finish reading the book of Bamidbar/Numbers.  We finish reading our wanderings in the wilderness and next week, we begin Moshe’s retelling, the book of Words/Things, Devarim.  From a feminist perspective, this parsha is both very challenging and very exciting.

Women are key to this week’s parsha.  You might think that in Gd’s last major discourses via Moses to the Jewish people, the major foci would be on what happens next, ie how the land of Israel will be conquered and divided, and the laws for the land of Israel.  While that is mostly true, the parsha opens and closes with laws about women.

The beginning is a discussion of vows, oaths and pledges.  Nowadays, rabbis highly discourage people from making vows and oaths, because of the difficulty of truly cancelling them.  Kol Nidrei originates partly from this challenge.  While various machzorim use different formulations, the prefered one says

מיום כפורים זה עד יום כפורים הבה

all vows from this year to next year, meaning we cancel our oaths before we even utter them!  This is to prevent us from failing to fulfill an oath, which according to tradition, has severe consequences.

Interestingly in this parsha, women get an out.  While the original reason we might call sexist, since it is her husband who gets to cancel it, the idea that she gets a second chance on her vows might  be rather useful!

Wouldn’t you like a second chance to rethink rash promises?

The most severe and bizarre case of a fulfilled vow in the Torah is the story of Yiftach/Jepteth, in the book of Judges.  Originally somewhat of a criminal, he becomes a military leader.  Before leading the other Israelites in a big battle against Ammon, he vows that he will sacrifice whatever comes out of his house when he returns, if he wins.  Since he lived with his only daughter, no spouse mentioned, what else could he possibly have meant?  When he returns, his daughter comes to greet him and he is stricken, upset, fearful, but she encourages him to fulfill his vow, as long as she is given time to frolic with her friends first.  (It’s a strange story!)  http://www.mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt0711.htm  While some modern Christian commentators try to argue that he simply forced her to remain chaste, ie sacrificed her sexuality, that seems like a creative reading to me!

I was recently in the ICU with a Catholic family, but their religion is not essential to the story.  The parents were praying for second chances.  Their college-age son had overdosed on some undetermined substance and all the wanted was for him to have a second chance.  The room was filled with “if onlys”.  If only we had done this.  . .  If only we had given him more independence.  If only we hadn’t given him so much independence.  .
It was also filled with bargaining.  “Gd if you fix him, I’ll do x,y, z. ..  I’ll be a better parent.  I’ll be more watchful.  I’ll hover more or less.

While I was present with them, encouraging them to find hope and solace in a difficult situation, I wondered about this week’s parsha.  What kind of oaths do we make when we are in a tight spot?  Are they things we truly intend to follow through on?

From a feminist perspective, this parsha is somewhat neutral.  It is inspiring to see such a focus on women.  It is challenging the way they are portrayed.  Yet, there are some hopeful moments.

I think about what I read recently.  Rabbi Jacqueline Koch Ellenson, in the Torah: a Women’s Commentary, writes about how in our world today, women frequently make choices or are pressured to make choices based on the needs of others rather than for themselves.  Their dreams are frequently lived for aging parents, supporting spouses, or parental responsibilities.  In the rabbinic world, many women are chaplains or non-pulpit rabbis, because of the great difficulty of caring for their families and caring for a congregation.  I am grateful to be here, where you have respected my time with my wife, and will Gd-willing, allow me to have time with my own children, in due time.   While modern husband’s rarely check and approve or disapprove of their wife’s vows, women frequently check them themselves, and put the needs of others ahead of their own.

So to me, this week’s parsha is about balance.  It is about trying to find the space for ourselves in a busy world.  It is about recognizing the needs of others.  Another year, we could discuss how the daughters of Zelophehad compromise their newly earned right of inheritance for the good of their tribe. Matot/Masai  is both reflective and forward thinking.  As I mentioned at the beginning of this drash, this parsha is about preparing for the land of Israel, yet it is the end of the book of Bemidbar.  As such it is an end and a beginning.  In Torah: A Woman’s Commentary, Professor Tamara Cohn Eskenazi, and Rabbi/Professor Elizabeth Goldstein, note that the story of slavery opened with five women at the beginning of Exodus, (Shiphrah, Puah, Jocheved (moses’ mother), Miriam, and Pharoah’s daughter) and the story of slavery ends with the preparations for Israel mentioned here, with the five daughters of Zelophehad.  For anyone in my Hebrew class, this week’s parsha continues the discuss of מעין את and continues into איפה את? It asks us where we came from, but makes us think about where we are going.  To me, those are two of the most important questions we can ask, and they are the essential questions that allow us to begin our second, third and fourth chances.

SHABBAT SHALOM!